Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Real Nail Biter

As you would expect with Christmas barely in the rear view mirror, Lukas still gets pretty excited on those days when we pull up to the house after school to find a package waiting for us on the porch.

It doesn't matter that absolutely nothing we have ordered in the past month, and truthfully there hasn't even been much, has been intended for him because he will still see it as a potential gift.  So on Tuesday, when we came home and he viewed the small package sitting by the door he was eager to see what it was.

But he shouldn't have been.

That's because, rather than it being a toy for him, it was the something he certainly would NOT like.  We unceremoniously removed his binky when Lukas was 6 months old.  Thankfully he never ended up sucking his thumb, but at some point in the past year and a half - or more - our little guy started to chew on his fingernails. 

And now he does it all the time.  Gnawing them down as far as he can, damaging his cuticles, and often leaving sharp bits of broken nails in the process.  Understandably, this has ended up being very painful for him, and by default for Mrs. LIAYF as well.

Realizing the problem early on, Mrs. LIAYF and I have tried many different tactics to get Lukas to stop chewing on his fingers.  Everything from rewards (promising to get him a Buzz Lightyear for his last birthday if he stopped) to constant reminders including pulling his fingers away from his mouth whenever we saw him with his fingers close. 

Unfortunately none of this worked.

Lukas wanted to stop too.  Especially since he often has painful fingers, like after he has gone to bed and "needs a band aid" to cover a stinging digit. (Though this has recently gotten a bit out of hand when he seems to be using that excuse to buy more time before sleep and to get a Star Wars or Phineas and Ferb bandage.)

So finally, when all else seemed to fail, Mrs. LIAYF found a product online (3 different ones actually) that professed to be a cure.  Just coat his fingers with it and he won't want to put them in his mouth anymore.  Sounds simple right?  We told Lukas it was coming and even he was on board.  After all, he did want to stop biting his nails.  So right before that nights dinner we coated his nails with the first product.

In retrospect we probably shouldn't have been serving finger foods with that meal.  That's because with the first apple slice he tossed in his mouth also went his fingers.  Immediately, his face went sideways and his mouth slowly opened leaving the partially chewed up food fully visible. 

"Ewwww!" he moaned as he spit the food out.  Then he cried.

I quickly handed my Lukas a fork as Mrs. LIAYF and I looked at each other, feeling more than a bit guilty.  It was obvious that he was completely unprepared for the terrible taste in his mouth.  In an attempt to make him feel better about it, Mrs. LIAYF then pulled one of his fingers closer and gave it a lick. 

"Vomitous" she said as she shook her head.

"Wash it off!" Lukas implored, but we had to sadly explain that it wouldn't wash off, but would only wear off in a couple of days.  It was at that point that my son held out his other hand to me "taste it daddy" he said.  I wanted to refuse, but as I looked up Mrs. LIAYF was also staring at me with expectant eyes.  So after a brief hesitation, I pulled his finger close and licked his nail. 

Immediately, I felt his pain.  To say it was pretty bad tasting stuff, would be an understatement.  I suppose that is why it's supposed to be so effective.  I again felt guilty for putting him through the experience, but that didn't compare to how we felt the next morning.  That's because apparently, Lukas also chews on his fingers in his sleep. Several times that night we could hear him wake up, wretch a few times, cry a bit, then go back to sleep.  In the morning he begged us not to use "that stuff" anymore.

Raise your hand if you feel like a bad parent (raising my hand gingerly).

The next morning we took Lukas to his Pre-K classroom and warned them of the nasty substance on his fingers.  "Make him eat with silverware" I warned them, but when we picked him up that evening he hadn't had any further problems.

And subsequently none since then either. Who knows.  As low as this experience made Mrs. LIAYF and I feel, it may be the one thing that does the trick for Lukas. 

I guess we'll keep our fingers crossed.  And coated too.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

LIAYF Turns 4, Defies The Mayans

Happy Tuesday Readers.  I'm a day late, but I just realized that on Monday Luke I am Your Father turned 4 years old.

Merriment and Whatnot.

If anyone would have told me back in January of 2008 that I would still be doing this in 2012, I would have laughed.  After all, according to the Mayans my blog was supposed to be extinct in 2011. That will teach people to trust the predictions of a civilization who, let's be honest, couldn't even foresee their own demise.


Seriously though, I think that having a dad blog that turns 4 must qualify me as somewhat of a Elder statesman of the Dad Blogging community.  I am the quiet one in the corner who seems to be perpetually contemplating something, but who is really just nodding off.  And nodding off is what I have been doing a lot of recently with this blog.

Sorry about that.

The fact is, I have not been visiting/commenting on many blogs, spending much Social Media sites, or posting on any sort of regular schedule here at Luke, I am Your Father recently.  I can't pin it to one specific reason, but rather a combination of a lot of factors.  Life has just gotten busy.  With work, at home, and with Lukas.  Honestly, it's amazing that I kept up the kind of pace I did for as long as I did while also working full time. 

I still plan on blogging here.  But on my 4th Blogaversary, I am realizing that I can do this a bit less often and still take a lot away from the experience.

I know there seem to be an abundance of new dad blogs and sites popping up all the time.  Honestly, as much as I would love to, I can't really keep up with them given my current time commitments.  Though I encourage you to.  I did have one tell me in a recent comment that I had inspired a lot of bloggers. Really?

For a guy with no aspirations, who started an obscure blog 4 years ago to gush about his newborn son, this is a very nice place to find myself today.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Friday 5: Favorite Sports Nicknames

Show me The Glove

Happy Friday readers.  Today I am going to borrow an idea from my blogging buddy Tim over at Life of Riles called Friday 5.  Basically,  for a Friday post I list my 5 favorite things in a different and completely random category.

Today, I have chosen Sports Nicknames.  Here are my 5 favorites.

5. The Big Unit: Randy Johnson was left-handed, stood 6'10" tall, and was perhaps the most imposing pitcher to ever take the mound in The Show.  I know he went on to bigger things in his days with the Arizona Diamondbacks, but to me his performance in the 1995 divisional playoff series between the Seattle Mariners and the hated New York Yankees cemented him as a legend.  The nickname The Big Unit is both fitting and, depending on how you interpret it, hilarious.

4. Crime Dog: While a decent professional baseball player in his day, Fred Griff will always be known more for his nickname which was a take on the police cartoon crime fighting dog McGruff, who could "Take a bite outta crime". 

3. The Microwave: Vinnie Johnson won NBA world championships with the Detroit Pistons in 1989 and 1990, but was originally drafted in 1979 by my hometown Seattle Supersonics.  Back then we just knew him as VJ as he was teammate with another pair of famous J's, DJ (Dennis Johnson) and JJ (Johnny Johnson).  In Detroit he became known as The Microwave for his ability to heat things up in a hurry.  Classic.

2. The Glove: Gary Payton was perhaps the best defensive point guard who ever suited up in the NBA.  He would defend opposing guards so tightly it was like they were wearing a glove.  Thus the nickname.  Another Seattle sports icon, his nickname was made all the more awesome by the hand gesture that accompanied it.  Palms and fingers outstretched as if putting on a glove, with the opposite hand gripped around the wrist.

1. Shoeless Joe:  Legend has it Joe Jackson became Shoeless Joe, after he played a game in Left Field without his cleats because they were new and had given him blisters.  Despite his involvement in the infamous 1919 Black Sox World Series fixing scandal, which resulted in his being banned from baseball Shoeless Joe is still one of the best hitters to ever play the game, posting the third highest career batting average of all time.  To me, the name Shoeless Joe is synonymous with baseball history and the nostalgia that surrounds it.

So, there you go.  Tell me folks, what are your all time favorite Sports Nicknames?

Photo Credit:

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Biting Sarcasm From My 4-Year-Old

We had just sat down for a nice evening dinner on New Year's Day when Lukas made the comment.   I completely missed his point at first.  You can't blame me though, because after all it was completely out of character for him.

We were having Mrs. LIAYF's delicious homemade Potato Leek soup, along with a loaf of pecan raisin bread.  I had lovingly toasted and buttered the bread for him.  But when I handed him a piece, he took me by surprise by making the following comment as he took his first bite.

"Thanks for burning the crust Daddy"

"But I thought you didn't like the crust burnt" I replied, genuinely puzzled.

" I don't" he quickly responded with a smile.

(By the way, in my defense the toast was merely a shade past golden brown. Not at all close to being burnt. Plus, as I mentioned, it was softened by the butter.)

"Why would you thank me for it then?"  I asked.  At this point I still thought I was being thanked.

And, then he gave me the kicker...

"Well, because that's the way you and Mommy say things a lot when you mean something else."

Mrs. LIAYF and I both let out a genuine laugh at that.  Then she let him know  "That's called sarcasm Lukas".

It was yet another reminder to us that your kids really do pick up on much more than you realize.

Yeah, thanks for pointing that out Buddy.