Friday, January 29, 2010
I guess I don't really blame them, since I have been there before, and occupied that mindset myself at a time in my life prior to becoming a parent.
I had to work from home the other day since Lukas wasn't feeling well. While there I called a colleague in another office, a man with no children of his own, to try to work out an issue. Lukas chose that moment to throw a mild fit. I'm not sure about what, he just wasn't feeling well that afternoon. At a subsequent meeting with another person in this same office it came up that this guy had a good laugh about this, and that he felt SORRY for me.
A different scenario played itself out at our home last week when a notary came by at 8:00 PM to have us sign papers for a refinance we were completing. Normally, our son would be in bed at this time, but we needed to get the signing done and this was our only time. Lukas was happy, but noticeably 'wired' and running roughshod through the house while we signed paper after paper. Attempts were made to calm him, but having extra playtime at 8:00 was not an opportunity he was going to squander!
Though she was nice enough, I could see it in her eyes. This motherless woman was feeling for us, and couldn't wait to wrap things up and get out of there.
Even dating back to when our little guy first began to walk there have instances where we could feel pity oozing from childless acquaintances as they watched us 'deal' with our enthusiastic progeny. There was one instance in particular where a couple we hung out with a lot invited us to lunch in a fancy restaurant. We brought Lukas, who couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes. When we didn't let him down to walk, he protested. Some food might have been thrown. This couple looked stunned as they watched this unfold. We just sighed and chuckled.
We haven't been out with these friends since.
Yes, parenting a small child can be difficult at times. It can be frustrating. It can be loud. It will be messy. Very messy at times, but you know what? These people can respectfully save their pity for someone else. There are a whole lot of people out there who really do need it. The instances I described? They were mere moments in the whole process of parenting. Bumps in the road. Not at all representative of the parenting experience we, or I suspect many of you, have come to know.
My point is this. When 'I' consider all my individual moments as a father as one experience I am simply thrilled with how it has turned out. It is so much better than I had ever anticipated. My son is an amazing little man. Not a day goes by where I am not extremely proud to be his Daddy. This is not a perspective, I suspect which many non-parents can understand and grasp. But I hope that someday they will get to. It will truely eye opening.
Until then, I pity them for not knowing this kind of Love.
Posted by James (SeattleDad) at 1:00 PM