Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Proof I'd Do (Nearly) ANY Thing for My Kids

'Sausage', I might have actually liked

"Try this one Dad!" Lukas giddily asked me a couple days ago.

"What is it this time?" I responded, a bit leery about the request but not overly concerned.  I had, after all, just eaten dirt, rotten egg, and black pepper.  None were pleasant, but neither were they terrible. Mrs. LIAYF had eaten one flavored after an earthworm. 

Admittedly, that had not gone well.  

But I am Dad of the Iron Stomach.  Almost nothing phases me. Almost.

"Vomit!" he laughed.

And, because I'm a Dad, and game for nearly any challenge, I tried a Bertie Botts (Harry Potter) jelly bean of the 'vomit' variety yesterday.  Lukas and Mrs. LIAYF are reading the Harry Potter series together this Summer, taking turns on pages and so were well aware of flavored beans.  

I sort of remembered them from the movies.  But it seems like my memory is sketchy on a good day anymore, and was initially unaware of the different 'flavors'.

We picked the beans up at a toy store, while on a long weekend getaway to the ocean.  And after only a slight hesitation, Lukas and I each popped one in our mouths at the same time. I thought it couldn't really taste like puke, but ya know what? I was sadly mistaken.  

It was unquestionably one of the worst things I have ever tasted! We both spit them out at about the same time.   I had to fight the reactionary urge to empty the contents of my stomach right there, sitting in our parked car.  

One thing that has always given me the heebee geebees is the idea of eating a bug.  In reality I think this might have been even worse than what I imagined the bug would taste like.  

Yep, we learned a lesson with this 'experiment'.  I'm not sure what that is, but had a long and lasting laugh about the whole thing.  About 2 minutes after we stopped spitting. 

My advice?  Don't try this at home. Or even away from home.  

Unless, of course, you want a cool experience to remember and commiserate with your kid about for a long, long time.


AiringMyLaundry said...

Ick! My kids got these. I refused to eat the nasty ones. I have a really horrible gag reflex. I'd have barfed.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@AiringMyLaundry - I was just kidding, really you should try them... Okay, I am a bad liar. Thanks for stopping by.

DL said...

Jim, a few weeks ago I drank from my water bottle while driving and lo
and behold, there was something in my mouth!! I couldn't swallow because I had no idea what it was and I didn't want to find out while driving. so I held my mouth shut, pulled over as soon as I could, and spit in the gutter. it was a bee!!! dead luckily.. I haven't been able to drink from that bottle since...