Finger Eat'n Bad!

This moment brought to you by one tired 9 1/2 month old, and two parents who are still not jaded. We can still see the humor in a little person who when bedtime is fast approaching and he has already had enough to eat, believes the proper thing to do with yams and polenta would be to rub them in your hair, smear them on your face, and fling them over your shoulder (for good luck, no doubt)!

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I am sure there will be a time in the near future where we are not so amused by such a display, but for now we still think fiascos such as this are adorable. I hope that time doesn't come for quite a while. We can, and plan, to teach Lukas that life should be full of fun and that messes can be cleaned up without taking certain things too seriously. Check back with us from time to time to see how that is working!

Wrarms!

Dear Mr. Webster,

It has recently come to my attention that there is a glaring omission to the otherwise stellar latest edition of your classic text of English words.

I realize that your dictionary will never, at any one point in time, be completely up to date with the latest 'words from the street', cutting edge slang that those of us in the know and in the trenches, as it were, are using to communicate with each other on an advanced level.

I also realize that you need those folks who are actually living and using these words every day to be your eyes and ears out here in the real world. Because, after selling several editions of your lexicon (and with billions of copies in print), you must be swimming in money and a little out of touch with the average speaker. So, I'm here to make sure that you don't miss out on a recent linguistic development . . .

Wrarms.

Like their cousins the cankles, wrarms are lingo for fat little (in some cases) sections of limbs which do not seem to have a natural transition joint. Wrarms are formed by the joining of the hand and the arm. They are most often found on babies, small children, and overfed adults. I have attached a picture for illustrative purposes - feel free to use it in your next edition.

Once Bitten!

News of note out of Seattle this past week: You can earn 4000 Washingtons for a mere week's work! And as a bonus, for the week you also get nice hotel accommodations!

With the current cost of full time infant day care cha-chinging in at an almost budget busting $1400 at month, earning nearly 3 months of daycare cost while taking one of my available vacation weeks from work would normally sound enticing. However there is one small catch.....you have to be bitten by mosquito's infected with Malaria!!

Yes, you read that correctly, that's Malaria as in fever, chills, headache, sweats, fatigue, nausea, vomiting and, oh yes, the occasional death as a result of the culmination of these, to say the least, 'unpleasant' symptoms! Well, the result shouldn't lead to death in these Seattle cases as the strain in question is non-lethal (or so they say, but I wouldn't want to be the one poor bastard who ends up being the exception), and the patients are under medical supervision and can be cured.

This is all in the name of researching a vaccine for Malaria which is a good thing. And hey, what's a few days having what amounts to 'flu-like' symptoms to help find a cure for one of history's most deadly infectious diseases? Ok, I admit I have not reached that level of desperation yet, but I would be curious how many other fathers, or mothers for that matter, in these depressed economic times would seriously consider taking part in a study such as this to earn some extra cash and to make ends meet until they get back on their feet.

If you decide to come to Seattle to partake in this 'Paid Vacation', please let me know and feel free to drop by for a visit. That is, of course, after you have been cured!

Lukie Long Shanks

I took Lukas to his first drop off visit to daycare today. It is amazing how many things we need to get prepared for a two hour unattended visit (unattended by parents - the daycare workers are there). We packed a bag with extra clothes, sippy cup, soft cover photo book, lion teething toy, bunting outfit, diapers, solid food and spoon, and enough paperwork to keep the whole Pentagon busy deciphering their meaning for months. (When they are not planning their next brilliant scheme along with W, of course, to solve the mess overseas!)

One of the pieces of paperwork asked, among other more important things, for Lukas' nickname. Lukas has several nicknames. There's the obvious one 'Luke', and the happier version 'Lukie'. But we also have several other names by which we call our son. There's 'Budlet' to which I have referred to him in several previous posts. This was a version of 'Little Buddy' (remember Gilligan?).

Also, when Luke was born he had a long patch of hair on top that we would wind up into a big curl on top of his head. It made him look like a 'Who' from the Grinch stories, so we started calling him 'Lukie Lou Who.' There is also 'The 'Cutest Boy Ever' as in "who's the cutest boy ever?" I am sure he is not the only boy with this one though, since we all think our child is the cutest on the planet even when there can be only one, kind of like in 'Highlander'.

There are also some occasional nicknames, like his Mafia name 'Lukie the Prune Faced Boy' which he gets after most lunch meals. Lukas is also in the 90% percentile for length for his age (he most certainly didn't get this from me since I am 'Just Your Average Guy of Average Height' and if I was taller 'I Coulda' Been Special' on the hardwood). So we often call him by his Viking nickname 'Luke the Long'. Of course this also doubles as his pirate name (aaarrrrgggh!), or we modify it to make it his medieval name 'Lukie Long Shanks' since I am positive there was a 'Long Shanks' in a movie with knights I saw once. By the way, yours truly had a nickname in high school. It was 'Jambo' (they drew First Blood) and with the new Rambo film out soon, I'm feeling a comeback. Uh, maybe not.

Anyway, the point is that nicknames are loads of fun. And with as many times (hundreds) Lukas hears his given name through the course of a day, it is nice to mix things up a bit. Hopefully this will spark his creativity as well as he grows older.

So, I am back from daycare now and Lukas 'The Charmer' had everyone raving about how great and happy he was. All the daycare workers commented with apparent surprise (or really good acting) at how social and fun he was. 'The Cutest Boy Ever' strikes again.

When I dropped him off he was so curious about everything going on he barely noticed I was trying to get his attention to say goodbye. Then when I picked him up, he fussed because he wanted to play some more. So much for missing his old man. And, he didn't use 95% of the things we packed for him, but it was great for us to know that we were prepared for all eventualities.

'Lukie Lou Who' will be just fine at daycare. 'Jambo', however, will need some adjustment time!

Ragawhat?

Mrs. LIAYF and I were folding some of Luke's freshly laundered baby clothes yesterday (many of which are getting a bit small or worn out) when she looked up and announced "We are going to have to get some more clothes for Lukas before he starts daycare". I was a bit surprised, because budlet has a bunch of clothes and we do have quite a few friends and family with boys slightly older than he is and thus get quite a few lightly used (ok, hand-me-downs) clothes. I have no problem with 2nd hand clothes, because having a kid is, excuse my French, freakin expensive! (and this is just one, how do you people with a truckload of kids manage?) You have to cut costs where you can. I guess I do have to admit that I push the limit of usefullness on his clothes just a bit "No, honey, it's not time to put that romper in the donate pile, I can still get him into it if I bend his leg just so..."

Anyway, I look up at her and say, "Really? He has a lot of clothes already." To which her response was classic Mrs. LIAYF "We don't want him to look like a Ragamuffin" Did she really say that? Ragamuffin? What are we, at the turn of the 19th century England here? We could go ahead and let him look like a Ragamuffin, and teach him to pick pocket as well! And while we are at it, we could (once he's a bit older mind you) lower him down the chimney to give it a good once over too, as it hasn't been cleaned in a while. We could pay him tuppence what ever the hell that is. We really should have named him something like Oliver.

Or not. I do want Luke to make a good impression at day care and to be adored there as much as he is here. He can have all the new, or 2nd hand size appropriate, clothes Mrs. LIAYF wants to get him!