Monday, September 1, 2008

Going Postal!

Ahh, the stories it could tell.

This letter was returned to my office last week. Take a close look at the postage bar. You've gotta love the dedication of the U.S. Postal Service. I can almost picture the countless determined letter carriers trudging through snow, sleet, rain, and blistering heat trying to hand deliver this piece of mail since it went out back in.....

Just to be sure this was not a mistake, I ran out and bought an ACME carbon dating kit at my local drugstore and verified that indeed this was not an elaborate prank. It was the real deal. Yes, this beat-up letter has either been passed back and forth between determined mail handlers for the past 26 years, hidden away in an undetectable crevice somewhere, or perhaps it slipped through some random time portal, ending up instantaniously right here in present day Seattle.
Well we will never know since Uncle Sam's finest postal executives didn't send a representative to our office to explain. They didn't even bother to drop this correspondance off with a note of apology. It just arrived, uncerimoniously, in our inbox looking slightly worse for wear.

My colleagues and I have decided to steam the letter open to see exactly what important communication we were sending out to this poor chap way back in the days of Reganomics and Fantasy Island. Was it a bill that still has not been paid? Perhaps a policy explanation? Or maybe some other friendly reminder? I feel a bit like Geraldo Rivera prior to opening the Capone vault (which incidently happened 4 years after this letter was sent). This could be exciting and big! Or else it could be a huge disappointment.

I'm not holding my breath for exciting, but I will keep you informed.


SciFi Dad said...

Dude, you had better post what was in that envelope, or I may be forced to shank you.

Jason Roth said...

I can't wait to find out what's in it.

Martin said...

"You May Have Won $1,000,000!"

"Reply within 7 days"

Ed (zoesdad) said...

In tact?? Amazing!

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Sci-Fi - I will definitely let you know. I don't want shanked!!

@VegasDad - Me either, now I just have to hurry my boss into doing it!

@Xbox - Actually, we usually give them 14 days.

@Ed - Yes, in tact and amazingly in good shape for 26 years out!

Dad Stuff said...

Aw, come on. Open the letter already!

James (SeattleDad) said...

I apologize, but with the new school year and waiting for the boss's approval, we still have not opened the letter!

Stay tuned for an update . . . (I've got to milk it for all it's worth for my 5 loyal readers).

BusyDad said...

Well I'll tell you this. That is one hell of a durable envelope. It lasted longer than most cars. What brand is it because that's what I'm getting for my mail from here on out! Hey, I love the header! (no surprise).