Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Dad Resolutions for 2013

Welcome 2013!

Happy New Year Readers!

Last year I wrote my 1st Dad Resolutions post in honor of the upcoming year 2012.  And, although I didn't fully accomplish all the goals I set out to attain, I am proud to say that I did pretty well.  Along with getting to bed earlier on a regular basis and being more consistent in my style of discipline, I did significantly cut my online time including blogs and on Twitter - which has a lot to do with why my posting schedule here has was sporadic during the past year.

What I did not accomplish was getting into a regular workout routine.  I had many stops and starts, but in the end I always found it a bit too difficult to get myself into a routine I could stick with.

That brings me to 2013.  Now that I am a father of 2 in my mid forties, with an infant in the house, I need to continue to make some changes if my goal to be the best father I can - and also a good example to Lukas and Annabelle - is to be realized.  With that said, here are 5 Dad Resolutions I want to focus on in the coming year.

1. Lower my Expectations - Although this sounds bad, it's not.  One thing I have realized as a parent is that the most important thing in my life, by far,is the well being and happiness of my kids.   As parents we all know that this is often at odds with the many other expectations that we place upon ourselves.  Expectations to have everything in order, up to date, and crossed off our lists.  But the truth is that the lists will never be complete.  Ever.  As easy as it is to tell the kids "just a minute" when they are trying to get your attention, the time that you end up giving them is invaluable.  I resolve to lower my expectations in 2013 about having everything up to date and checked off my list, so that I can invest that extra time in my kids.

2.  Focus on my Health -  As I mentioned, I am in my mid forties with an infant and a 5 year old.  True, it's never to late to start taking care of yourself (and it's not like I have a terrible diet) but when I was in my 20's I envisioned myself as being a lot healthier at this age than I am now.  Now is the time for me to get serious about preserving my health so that in 10 or 15 years, I will still be an active participant in my kids lives.  This includes cutting out a lot of the junk I eat, being consistent in my stretching, exercise, and hours of sleep, and also focusing on preventing myself from getting worn down and sick.  Therefore I resolve in 2013 to focus on my health so that I will fully be there long term for my kids and also Mrs. LIAYF.

3.  Connect More - It's funny so say this, being a public blogger, but I am a fairly private person.  Outside of immediate family, I don't reach out a lot in my personal life to connect with the people who are important to me.  It's not that I don't want to, just that it is outside of my comfort zone to do so.  As a result, even though I am an outgoing personality, I don't hang out with friends much at all.  I don't see this as a great example to my kids, or necessarily healthy for myself.  Therefore I resolve in 2013 to reach outside my comfort level and connect more with my friends, in order to set a good example for my kids of how to have healthy friendships.

4.  Always Discipline while Calm - I'm usually good about this, but there are times when I get upset and want to discipline Lukas for something before I have had a chance to get my own emotions in check.  This is never a good idea and not a good example to set as a parent.  In 2013 I resolve to notice before I am doing this and to not let it happen.

5. Establish more Family Traditions - Growing up we didn't have a lot of family traditions, but the ones we did I still remember fondly to this day.  They focused mostly around watching sports and also the holidays.  Today, the LIAYF household is already beginning to establish some basic family traditions such as Sunday morning pancakes, a Summer camping trip, and Christmas day spent at home.  But, I would love to continue to establish routine family activities that the kids will remember fondly for the rest of their lives.  In 2013 I resolve to focus on creating tradition in our household.

There you have it readers.  My Dad Resolutions for the coming year.  What are some of yours?


BloggerFather said...

1. You're right there. I manage to do a lot with very little time, but I still do too much, which means nothing I do is ever complete, and my kid-time is always stressful, because instead of doing a puzzle I could read my emails...

2. I try... I ran my first 5K this year, and I really hope to run further in 2013, but--that means even less time for other things, and more stressful time with kids...

3. So next time I'm in Seattle you meet me!!!

4. Yep.

5. It's hard with us too. My wife wants to celebrate some Jewish holiday, but I'm being a Grinch. I tell her we should make our own traditions, but then I get too lazy or distracted to actually do it.

Theron Bostic said...

I like this list because it is attainable. Too often people resolve to undertake the impossible and in the end up underachievers. I too blogged my resolution, you should check it out. http://www.activedutydad.com/2012/12/a-real-fathers-new-years-resolution.html

Portland Dad said...

Great list James, I like the discipline when Calm and want to strive for that as well, it also seems like the hardest one to repeatedly live up to.

Jack said...

I hear you about the exercise. I'll 44 in May so I am very aware of time and my physical fitness.

Trying to make a push this year to change my habits and become a much fitter version of me.

Slamdunk said...

An excellent 5 James.

I could use the more consistent health choices myself. My back still aches from pulling the kiddos sled around and did I get winded fast. I am starting a new fitness program in a couple of weeks; maybe I can regain some of the old form.

Mitchell said...

Man, does #4 resonate with me. I am getting better at it, but there's always room for improvement. And I like #5 a lot - it alone speaks volumes about what kind of a father you are. Thanks for sharing, James.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Blogger Father - Thanks for the great comment. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to meet last Summer when you were up this way. Hopefully next time we can.

@Theron - I checked it out and left a comment. Great post. Thanks for engaging here.

@Portland Dad - Yeah, kids can really push buttons. It's up to us to act like the adults we are.

@Jack - I am right there with you age wise, but probably not as healthy to start with. I do have hope right now. I feel I am at some kind of tipping point where I will make at least a mini break through.

@Slamdunk - I look forward to reading about your progress. I get more inspired reading about other dads successes.

@Mithcell - Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 4 is tough, but it helps me that I am fairly laid back to start with. But of course there are those times, and my goal is to be better during those challenging moments.