Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I received quite a few concerned looks at work Monday morning, as I arrived sporting a rather nasty looking facial wound. It was a nearly 3 inch long deep scratch -still red - that ran from just below the middle of my lower lip to the bottom of my chin.
Mostly, I just played it straight, leaving my co-workers not quite sure whether or not to inquire as to what sort of 'situation' left me looking so physically gnarly. But when they did ask I tried, in all seriousness, to give a good story. My answers included:
I got into a knife fight at a bar on Saturday with a mouthy New Orleans Saints fan.
Biopsy. Turns out I don't have chin cancer after all.
I tried to steal a piece of Gazelle carcass from a pack of feasting Hyenas.
I got a shave and a haircut. My barber turned out to be Freddy Kruger.
But mostly, if they stared at me for a while I would just say "You should have seen the Raccoon!"
Then, inevitably I would have to tell them the truth which was that I tried to come between a Mama Bear and her cub.
I was playing chase with Lukas and telling him I was going to "GET HIM" so he ran over to Mrs. LIAYF giggling and said "Save me Mommy. Save me from the Monster."
Apparently she took him seriously, as she stuck her hand out at just the same time I was lunging my face towards him, resulting in her nails scooping up large chunks of my chin skin during the impact. There is always that moment of pause before the pain sets in.
Yeah, it was ugly as blood gushed everywhere for a moment. Who knew participatory parenting could be so dangerous? To her credit, Mrs. LIAYF must have apologized a hundred times. She felt awful.
But not as awful as I did when she squirted the liquid Neosporin into the wound.
Non-Stinging my ass. At least we ALL had a good laugh at my expense.
Posted by James (SeattleDad) at 5:00 AM