Monday, August 15, 2011

Tweetcycling V

Happy Monday Readers.  It's been months since I did my last Tweetcycling post, and since I'm suffering through a small bout of apapthy writers block, I thought this might be a easy way get some content out there way to kick start my creative energy.

For those of you new to LIAYF since last November, This is the series where I give some of my little used humor tweets a second chance at life. You can read the first four installments here I, II, III, IV.

Sure, if you look down my right margin at my Twitter Bites widget you may have read many of these already, but come on, who really does that?  Alright. Besides retired people, who really does that?

Anyway, you will find these tweets barely used and in decent condition.
4yo "Daddy's a big fan of Booze" My wife: "What!?" 4yo "Yeah, I jump out and scare him, and he laughs, laughs, laughs".
I wonder if Soylent Green Tea is full of auntieoxidents.
I am working on a sunless tanning method which would require nothing other than a rather large vat of Cheetos.
My wife just asked me if I knew what bunting was. Apparently she wasn't talking about baseball. Like I was supposed to know that.
My other cup of tea is a pint of ale.
Unfortunately, the two attractive beers I placed together in my fridge failed to reproduce. Maybe they were the same sex.
3yo: "Daddy, when I say 'to infinity' it means I have to go peepee. And when I also say 'and beyond' it means I have to go poop too"
My wife said she was looking for something mindless. "Where's the cat?" I asked.
Set down book Getting things Done to check twitter. Obviously I have a ways to go.
Got up from the dinner table earlier and did The Crane. Wife said 'What is wrong with you?"
Me in a parallel universe has a beer right now. Thinking of opening a door to there and stealing it.
For the next portrait I have painted of me, I'm going to wear a button up shirt so I can stick my hand in it. It's the cool thing to do.
He broke out the bin of dinosaurs tonight. I'm one giant strawberry from it being The Land of the Lost in my kitchen.
Installed flux capacitor on my Twitter. Oh no, here come the Libyans! Once I hit 88 char


Juli said...

I still don't get Twitter.

And honestly, don't want to. I fear it will become one more thing to suck up my time. :)

That said... these are pretty funny.

And I am also a fan of "Boo's"


Slamdunk said...

Thanks for the laugh.

I best Google bunting as I would have said the same thing.

Mrs. M said...

I would have answered that bunting is a baseball move too - and I'm a girl! :) I LOVE your tweets - wish I was on there more often to see them in real time. Very creative, you boozey dad you. :)

Ted said...

"3yo: "Daddy, when I say 'to infinity' it means I have to go peepee. And when I also say 'and beyond' it means I have to go poop too""

That is hilarious!

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Julliana - Thanks. I'm just glad he qualified himself. :)

@Slamdunk - I still don't think I know. It has something to do with fabric.

@Mighty M - Thanks. But these stretch over months, so real time is a really long time.

@Ted - There is rarely an unhumorous moment with this boy. thanks for the comment.

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DGB said...

Yeah, these are great. The soylent green one and the infinity and beyond ones killed me.