Sunday, September 18, 2011

We're Adopting - You Can Help

Save for a mention in a previous post I haven't talked about it much here at 'Luke, I am Your Father', but we are in the process of adding to the size of our family. We are doing it through adoption.

Given Mrs. LIAYF's history with adoption (her mother and uncle are both adopted) we had always planned on having one biological child and then adopting another. However, this outcome was not easy to achieve. Before Lukas was born, we spent four years, multiple thousands of dollars, and countless hours of 'practice' (yes, we could be qualified as Outliers in that field) trying to nudge along the process of conception. But, sadly, this was to no avail. We were eventually told by our doctor that we would most likely never have a biological child of our own.

As it is with many would-be parents, this was a frustrating, heartbreaking, and at times demoralizing experience for both of us. We couldn't fully comprehend why we were having these difficulties, especially when we knew we had so much love and happiness to give. Finally there came a time, after riding the emotional rollercoaster for so long, that we had our closure moment. Now, we would simply adjust to adoption as our primary option to start our family. And, we were very happy with our choice.

Then, miraculously, Lukas picked us as his parents. We literally found out Mrs. LIAYF was pregnant the same morning that we were sending our profile to an expecting mother who we had found was looking for adoptive parents. We were shocked. We held each other for what seemed like hours and cried tears of joy. Despite the stories you may have heard, statistically this almost never happens.

We quickly contacted our adoption attorney and had him refer this birth mother to another family looking for a child to love. Our plans for adoption would be put on hold.

Fast forward nearly five years. The parenting experience has been every bit the amazing journey Mrs. LIAYF and I had envisioned. We count our blessings each and every day to have Lukas in our lives. We laugh and love more than we could have ever imagined, even five years earlier.

If you read this blog, you will know that I write a lot of self deprecating humor. I often poke fun at myself, my age, and many other things. But all joking and humility aside, Mrs. LIAYF and I are pretty fantastic parents. And Lukas is a pretty amazing kid. We realize that, but we also realize that we are far from done. We have plenty of room in our home, and in our lives, to share with another child. And that child will be extremely well loved.

Since earlier this year, we have been completing all the necessary steps, including background checks and a lengthy home study, to bring that child into our happy home. Like we were pursuing before Lukas came along, we are opting for a process called Domestic Infant Adoption. This means we have an adoption attorney and are staying local, while waiting for a birth mother to pick us as the adoptive parents to her soon to be born beautiful baby.

With this path we are not contracting with an agency, but rather opting to find our child through other avenues. This involves networking. In essence, getting the word out about who we are, and most importantly that we are looking to provide a loving home to another child.

This, readers, is where you may be able to help. You, as the readers of 'Luke, I am Your Father' are perhaps our biggest network when it comes to locating the child who has picked us, and is waiting for us to find him/her. And networking, in the form of getting the word out that you are looking to adopt a child, it has been told to us by the professionals who we've been in contact with, is the key to speeding up the domestic adoption process. In fact, the first young birth mother we were made aware of 5 years ago was the daughter of a friend of a co-worker of Mrs. LIAYF's. That's usually how it works.

So readers if you have heard, or do hear in the future through your personal grapevine about a expectant mother who may be looking at adoption as a means of giving the child she is carrying the chance at a secure and loving home, please think of the LIAYF family and the healthy, happy home full of laughter and learning we could give that child.

In the off chance this does happen, please contact us using the email listed on my profile page. You can click 'View my Complete Profile' on the upper right hand corner of this screen. You can give my e-mail to any prospective birth mother. You can also give her our attorney’s contact information – Albert Lirhus in Seattle, Washington (206) 728-5858. The birth mother can ask to speak to Joan and request the adoption profile for our family – “Jim, Anne and Lukas.”

All that being said, and certainly this is the tricky part, we would prefer that birth parents not be referred here, to LIAYF. At this stage of the process, there would simply be too many yet unanswered variables to consider. That would be a decision left for another time. So, if in the off chance you do know of a prospective birth mother, please hold off on giving out this web address, or blog name.

So, there you have it, the story of our journey to adding a fourth member to our happy family. Thanks for reading, and for keeping our story in mind as you go about your daily lives.

Who knows?  If you were actually able to help, I may even give you creative license in choosing a psudonym for LIAYF's newest edition. 

That is, as long as it's not Jar Jar.


@AnOrdinaryDad said...

Congratulations, and I'm super excited to hear the news!

For a girl, it's got to be Leah, obviously, hmmm for another boy though that'd be tough. Could you get used to the idea of referring to your second son as Han?

James (SeattleDad) said...

@OrdinaryDad - Thanks. Once we get there, we can settle on a name. Hopefully, it will happen soon for us.

Julianna said...

By local, do you mean Seattle, Western US or the Entire US?

Dumb question I know, but just thought I'd ask.

Eric said...

that's exciting!!

i'll be praying for all four of your James.

If I Could Escape said...

How wonderful! Have not been by in a while but smiling at your news! Personally, I think Karen is a lovely, underused name of late!! ;)

PS I've tagged you over on ma blog.

danielpelfrey said...

Good luck.

Diplo_Daddy said...

Hey, that’s wonderful news! And you’re not the only set of parents who needed years of practice. It took us nearly six years to make Christopher. But it was well worth the wait. Congratulations, once again!

Bruce Sallan (@BruceSallan) said...

Bruce would be a great name for the boy you are GOING to adopt!

alpha_sahd said...

That's awesome, James. I'm sure that the right addition to y'all's family is out there waiting for you…or you've just jinxed yourself, and Ms. LIAYF will get knocked up again (8^•
Either way, it'll be a blessing, and well deserved (8^]

Namzola said...

Wish you the best of luck in finding that special child. Since I don't live anywhere near Seattle, I'm about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop - but I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Mrs. LIAYF said...

Hello everyone! Thanks for all the nice comments!

To answer the question of "locality," our attorney focuses on the Washington, Oregon, Idaho area. We plan to stay in this area due to travel and cost restraints. However, depending on circumstances, we might consider referrals from other states.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Julianna - Thanks. See Mrs. LIAYF's comment.

@Eric - Thanks man. That means a lot.

@Karen - Thanks! We'll keep Karen in mind.

@Daniel - Much appreciated.

@Dipplo - So you can relate for sure. Thanks for the comment.

@Bruce - Thanks for the confident spin. Much appreciated.

@alpha - That wouldn't be a jinx, but thanks for the thought.

@Namzola - You never know what will come up through your networks. Stranger things have probably happened. Thanks for stopping by and leaving the comment.

@Mrs. LIAYF - Thanks for jumping in there sweetie. Busy day made me slow to respond.

Rachael said...

This is wonderful, congratulations!

Slamdunk said...


You and your wife are fantastic parents and I am excited about what you all are trying to do. My prayers are with you.

Knatolee said...

I'm no help, but I do wish you much luck! You are a great family and I know this will work out for you.

Anonymous said...

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James (SeattleDad) said...

@Rachel - Thanks so much.

@Slamdunk - Much appreciated. That means a lot.

@Knatolee - You may be able to help someday. You never know who you know that may know someone. Thanks for keeping us in mind.

@Anonymous - This sounded a lot like what a bot might say. But I hope you are real, and thank you nonetheless.

Kevin said...

I wish you and your wife the best. I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

Captain Dumbass said...

What a great way to go about it. I imagine adopting from Canada would be a whole other headache, but I'll keep an eye out on my interweb travels on your side of the line.

FishSticked said...

I know you said local, and I don't know of anyone at this time, but I'm assuming you would not consider the Chicago area to be local, correct? I know that sounds stupid and I know Chicago is far from being "local" to Seattle, but if I have the chance to help, and it's feasible for you, I will.

Teri said...

Oh wow - I did miss this post. You are going to make some baby very lucky - hopefully very soon. If I hear of ANYTHING I will let you know!

Anonymous said...

What a great post and a great story. Best of luck to all of you, and I'll definitely be checking in here to see how it's going. I really like your writing.

Barbara L said...

Grabbed the badge. I will say I have had friends and family members adopt through "word of mouth" connections. I will be happy to help spread the word.

Stork said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mydadcanfly said...

Our son came into our lives through a private domestic adoption two years ago. Through a seemingly random reference about our interest in adoption, our lives were changed forever when that person remembered us later and introduced us to our sons birthmother. Keep up the hope and I can't wait for my family to digitally celebrate with your family.

Doria said...

Hi, Im new to your blog, just wanted to say what a wonderful idea. I wish you all the best in growing your lovely family. :)

Whit said...

That's awesome! Congrats and good luck.

C. D. Eagle said...

I'm new to your blog, and I just wanted to let you know that this post made me cry. Especially the top bit.

So thanks for that.