Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Things were never like this before. The only explanation I can come up with is that I may be going soft in my old age.
Before the birth of my son a couple of years ago, I had a extremely strong composition. I was born, raised, and spent my early adulthood on our family dairy farm in the southwestern part of Washington state. I worked hard, slept little, and witnessed more than my share of what could be called gruesome things. Whether it involved animal or human, there were many times where I watched blood, including my own, being spilled during those years. Enough blood and gore, in fact, that I became accustomed to witnessing it, and though it always bothered me to a degree, it did little to affect my psyche.
However, those days are fading into the rearview mirror for me now. Nearly 10 years have since gone by. And the pendulum that is my composition, my make-up, my ability to deal with such circumstances, seems to have swung the other way along with the passing of time.
The first clue that this shift was taking place came in the hospital after the birth of Lukas. I had just accompanied Mrs. LIAYF through a difficult 80 hour labor. We were both dead tired, but the time had come to make the decision on circumcision. Mrs. LIAYF left it up to me, but only requested that if I decided to have it done, that I be there with him. So I did. It was a new and painful experience seeing my baby boy laying there helpless and in such pain.
In the end it became too much. I felt light headed and the next thing I remember was looking at the spinning shoes around my head, of the doctor and nurse. They set me in a chair, and we all had a long, genuine laugh at my expense.
However, it didn’t end there. I had knee surgery later that same Summer, and as I was being prepped for the procedure, out came the needle. I had not slept at all the night before. My head started spinning, and again down I went. This time it was not as humorous as the last time. Though still worthy of a few laughs.
Fast forward to last week, when I went in to get a seasonal flu shot. I again had not been sleeping well. I was escorted around to sit on a bed. Out came the smallish needle. I felt light headed once again. Had a sense of what was coming. But this time I stopped the nurse. Told him that I needed to lie down and was allowed to. After a few minutes of laying there regaining my sense of normal, I got up and left. Without fainting. And without laughing about it either.
What bothers me now is that I may not be able to respond appropriately when and if that day comes where my child is hurt and bleeding in front of me. I'm not sure what has brought these recent fainting episodes. Though, they didn’t begin to happen until after I became a father at nearly 40 years old. Correlation? Have any of you experienced anything similar?
I guess they weren't kidding when they said 'Everything changes after you have a child.'
Photo by ZaldyImg's
Posted by James (SeattleDad) at 1:25 PM