Egg Hunt Hunger Games

Lukas (green sweater) should have turned and found the eggs on the perimeter.

"Oh Look, there's an Easter Egg Hunt at the community center this morning.  That should be fun."

Those were our famous last words, as we finished up our late breakfast this morning and decided to head out to our local venue to happily gather a few eggs, meet with some friends of ours, and soak in some rare Seattle sunshine.

Little did we know the carnage that awaited us.  When we arrived and surveyed the scene, which consisted of hundreds of kids in the 4-6 age category alone, clamoring for position to gather what they could of what seemed like less eggs than the total number of kids, we should have know that for most there wouldn't be a happy ending.

What transpired was nothing short of the opening scene of The 74th Annual Hunger Games.  Not the opening scenes of the movie, but rather the actual games within the movie.  Not to be a spoiler, but that's where, when the horn sounds all the kids race to the center to pick their weapons and supplies, and half of the kids immediately get slaughtered by the other rampaging contestants.

During this egg hunt when the horn sounded - check that, before the horn sounded because quite a few of the kids got a jump on the competition - those hundreds of kids descended on that field like a swarm of locust, leaving little unscathed in their path. 

There were kids obviously better prepared than we were with light and easily maneuverable pails, kids plastic grocery bags, and even optimistic kids with large plastic garbage bags.  Lukas?  He had a his very nice woven and lined Easter basket.  It was nice to look at, but not optimal for carrying while gathering eggs.

Shortly after I took the picture above, he got knocked over as the screaming hoard made it's way through the field.  Mrs. LIAYF rushed out to pick him up, grab his hand, and help him search.  But alas, there was little left.  They ran all the way to the end and found only one egg.  And they were some of the lucky ones.

As I made my way out to find them, it was like walking through the remnants of a freshly fought battlefield.  There were dozens of crying and wounded kids being led away by their consoling parents, their baskets empty. Only a precious few had baskets filled with plastic booty.  Needless to say Lukas was a bit upset himself at the result of his 'Hunt'. Mrs. LIAYF and I consoled and reassured him that we would reward him at home for his effort. 

But then, about an hour later an announcement came over the loudspeaker.  "Line up now for the Adult Egg Hunt".  Adult hunt?!, I thought. Then it hit me that THIS was the time for me as a father to provide for my family.  To gather some eggs and make my son happy.  And I'd do it no matter what!

I quickly started over to the line up, where well over a hundred other parents were gathered as well.  But as I was making my way over, I heard Lukas from behind me.  He was coming to go with me.  I hesitated, as this would certainly slow me down and take away any advantage my quickness would lend me against the other mostly middle aged participants.  But I couldn't say no.

As we were lined up along the fence before the start I had Lukas in front of me holding the basket.  I thought to myself that this simply would not do.  So I picked him up, all 40 lbs of him and made a seat with my right arm for him to sit in front of me.  And then we were off.  Carrying him it seemed like I was competing in one of those odd ball Worlds Strongest Man competitions.   Strategy had to be my friend as I spied a grouping of eggs about 20 yards ahead.  That was my goal.

I sprinted out there as fast as I could with Lukas on my arm in front of me and immediately picked up 4 eggs.  "Yah! We are doing it!!" Lukas called as I tossed them in the basket.  Then as I raced to another patch a few yards to my left and gathered up a few more before another woman could get them, Lukas laughed with joy.  "Daddy's doing it!" He called out, laughing and enthusiastic.  I raced around for a few more seconds with him and picked up another lone egg.

By then the hoard had moved down the field though, leaving us with our decent spoils.  I put Lukas down and held his hand as we walked back to the blanket where Mrs. LIAYF waited.

In his other hand he held that woven basket, filled with just enough treat filled plastic eggs to sustain all of us for the rest of the afternoon as we happily picnicked in the rare Seattle sunshine.

Happy Easter everyone.

Jolly Green Dad Blogger

Disclaimer: Not me and Lukas

 I can remember quite a while back that Dad Blogs, when it was still Dad Blogs and before it went away for quite a while and eventually became something else (I think), and which is apparently not the same Dad Blogs that I recently got an invitation to join a wile back but have been just too busy to actually sign up for, yes that Dad Blogs held a contest to determine who was the Greenest Dad Blogger on the internet.  No it wasn't me.

Sticking with the theme of my not knowing things, I also haven't a clue if that contest ever even ran, or if it did who has the honor of being named the Greenest Dad Blogger on the internet.  I suppose I should look that up, and I would if I wasn't saving energy by not wasting extra time on the internet looking up old contests that no one probably cares about.

But the reason I bring this up, and I know how intuitive you are, and that you could see this coming a mile off (probably before I even decided to pen this post), is that at the time I thought very hard about entering the contest.  Yeah, I actually thought I had a legitimate chance of making it to the Big Green Dad Blogger Dance, so to speak.

Of course this was probably a ridiculous notion, given that there is actually a Dad Blog called Green Dad.  I have never actually read a Green Dad post and had no idea that it existed back when the contest was ran, but anyone who actually calls himself Green Dad must, by default, be a greener dad blogger than I am.

But yeah, ever since that contest that I got too busy to enter came and went I have wanted to actually write a post about my greenness, and how it came about not necessarily by way of a plan, but more by location, necessity and, of course, marriage.

I am from Seattle.  I go by the online moniker SeattleDad.  Seattle is a greener city than yours. Sorry, no disrespect to your fine city, but this is true.  So yes I am on board party because they make it easy to be green here.  We have a great recycling and composting program here in the city.  It has made it fairly painless to reduce our trash output to a miniscule amount each and every week.  Growing up, I was never conscious of greenness or conservation of any kind.  But then, several years ago now I got married to a wonderful and also conservation friendly woman. She's not a fanatic by any stretch, but she is someone who would take the time to think about the choices she made and how they affected the environment. That was eye opening.

In no time I was also fully on board.  Now, along with the careful recycling and composting that we do, which has woven its way partially into my fabric (I actually walked quite a way today to find a recycling can to put some empty soda cans from a work party), we also use conservation friendly light bulbs and shower heads, turn off our lights and down our heat by habit when we are not using them, drive an alternative fuel car (not electric but perhaps some day), and buy most of our food organic and local whenever possible. We also used cloth diaper for Lukas when he was little, I recycle my tweets on occasion, and I even drank some organic craft beer the other day, because it was a good thing for the environment (wink wink).

Seriously though, another big contributor to my status as one of the greener dad bloggers is the fact that we rarely buy anything new in our household.  If we need new furniture, appliances, clothing, toys, books, etc... we are first looking to find a suitable used version.  Be it from Craigslist, consignment, or thrift we are pretty diligent about avoiding new purchases here.  Yes, this is partially mandated by the fact that it is expensive to live, own a home, and have a child in full time private care in Seattle but nonetheless it does contribute to lowering our carbon footprint.

There are other things too, little things.  But I'm sure I will remember what they are well after I hit publish.

As I mentioned, many of these decisions are based on economic factors.  But not all of them by any means.   Mrs. LIAYF and I take a certain amount pride in the fact that, albeit small in the overall scheme of things, we are trying to do our part to make the world a better place for Lukas and the generations that will follow him.

We also want him to grow up with conservation, and awareness of his impact on the world around him to be like second nature.  It will not change any of the predicted problems that countless years of widespread unawareness have put into place, but we are firm believers that change snowballs from individual efforts.

No, I am not the Greenest Dad on the Internet.  I may not even be greener than you are.  But, along with my beautiful wife, I am trying to do my small part.  And all the while teaching my son that throwing those cans into recycling rather than the trash is just something that you do without thinking much about it. It has become that way for me.

Except when I stop to think about that old contest.

Earth Day 2012 is April 22.  Tell me readers, are you becoming more green as time passes?

4 Year Old Dive Bar

The dive bar has been raised.

Apologies for the high decibel woot from yours truly.  Note to Self: Phone camera close, no need to yell.

And, although you may not find this overly exciting, for me it was a very proud moment.  It meant Lukas apparently doesn't share my innate fear of falling from high places   landing in a painful heap. I am about twice as tall as he is, so I would have to double the height of the board to get the same effect.  Ummm, no thanks.

Yeah, watching my son walk right out there the his first time and barely hesitate before jumping was pretty thrilling to watch as a dad.

Where you may see a boy jumping off a board, I see my son taking another giant leap towards growing up.  To me it spoke to his personality, to his gusto, to his moxie and makeup.  Yes, I liked what I saw.   I gave him a huge high five when he got out of the pool.

So please forgive my enthusiasm. I am a dad whose 4 year old is growing by leaps and bounds before my eyes.

Should We Redshirt Kindergarten?

On the bus ride home last night I saw a tweet referencing a 60 Minutes story about how giving would be kindergartners a bonus year, or 'Redshirting' them is on the rise.

 Photo Credit: The Modern Stitch

I didn't have time to read the story right there, but was eager to see what it had to say, and knew that Mrs. LIAYF would also be very interested in the topic.  That's because, unaware of the national debate, we have recently been considering that very course of action for Lukas, who turns 5 around the 4th of July.

The 60 Minutes article was a brief overview of the topic, but from there Mrs. LIAYF found a Huffington Post article by Tom Matlack of The Good Men Project  from last year, which goes into much deeper detail into the reasons many people choose this option, as well as the opinions of educators and parents on both sides of the topic.  This is a terrific article and very informative, and I suggest that if you have a child who is a summer baby and kindergarten is in your future you really need to read it before deciding.

First off, I need to say that Mrs. LIAYF and I have not made a decision on this matter yet.  We have participated in a lot of school visits in the past couple of months, both pubic and private, and are currently waiting to hear in the next couple of weeks from some private schools where we have applied.  Then if we do get in to one, which is by no means a given with most having 10 plus applicants to each available spot, we have a tough choice on our hands regarding public versus private. And an important question to answer.

Would Lukas benefit from an extra year of Pre-K?

The Huffington Post article pointed out how many of the parents who are making this decision are doing it to give their child (overwhelmingly boys) a competitive advantage over their classmates.  The bottom line being that they wanted them to do better at sports, and on tests, compared to their then younger classmates.

There is research, notably as referenced in Malcolm Gladwells book 'Outliers' (the Canadian Hockey players example) that boys who enter school as one of the older children, rather than amongst the youngest, do gain a level of maturity, both emotionally and physically, that gives them an increased opportunity to succeed.

Mrs. LIAYF and I have not at all been considering this under the pretense that it would be a way for Lukas to succeed at his potential classmates expense.  Like most any parents would, we have simply been looking at what would be the best decision for him as an individual. And with that there are some sound reasons to seriously consider the Redshirting decision.  And they are certainly not academic with Lukas.  He is an exceptionally bright boy who had early verbal skills.

Rather, our reasons stem mostly from his size, and emotional maturity level.  Lukas has yet to hit his growth spurt, and thus is much smaller than many of this classmates, even the younger ones.  Additionally, he has always had very strong emotions, which can often lead to not only being very happy (a great thing) but often very hurt by perceived injustices as well, the fact that at 4 1/2 he still naps (without which, having two full time working parents would make his kindergarten day extremely long), and the fact that he doesn't currently do well in a learning environment where he is asked to sit still, and you start to get a picture of why we were independently considering this option even before becoming aware of these national articles.

Lastly, on top of all that, if we were to choose a public option, we would have to add to the fact that his day would be 7:30 - 5:30 and class sizes in many of our local options are going to push 28 to 1, with no teaching assistant.  A huge jump from his current 9 to 1 ratio.  Not out of the question, but certainly not optimal.

Concerns were raised in the Huffington Post article, and in the subsequent string of comments about whether this practice were fair to the younger children who start kindergarten at age 5.  Perhaps not.  But, I would also argue that any class would be much better served from having kids who are physically and emotionally ready to constructively participate in the classroom.

As for our experiences, we were particularly struck at many of our school visits by the number of huge kids, aged 6 or even older in the classroom and also by all the 5 1/2 year olds in the school application pools.  For all intents and purposes, this trend is already happening to a large extent here in Seattle, and that only exacerbates those disadvantages for Lukas were we to make the decision to enroll him this coming Fall.

Like I mentioned, our decision has not been made yet, but you can see which way we are leaning.  Of course that may change if the right private school opportunity fell into our lap.  Either way, it will be a difficult decision tinged with uncertainty.

Oh, and I would be remiss not to mention my own experience in starting elementary school.  I was a boy with a September birthday, and since my brother who was one year older and also a September birthday, entered when he was just turning 6, so did I.  Then, after 1st grade my academic performance merited my skipping straight to 3rd grade....into the same classroom as my older brother.

Many difficult years ensued.

At this point I am fairly certain that had I stayed with my original class I would not have had many of the confidence issues that plagued me well into adulthood. That personal experience alone will serve as a cautionary tale when the time soon comes to make our choice.  Stay tuned.

How about you readers?  Were you faced with this choice?  How did it turn out? Other thoughts?

Fake Hide and Seek

BOOOO! He yells, with a huge smile painted across his face as he jumps out from behind the guest bedroom door. 

"Whoa!  You scared me!" I exclaim, my eyes forcibly opened as wide as I can make them before letting a smile of my own creep over my own face. 

It's a game Lukas and I play a lot even though both of us are well aware that he has neither surprised nor scared me. 

At that point I will usually let him know "I'm gonna get you" which, in turn, will send him scurrying down the hall in an attempt to flee.

Always a second too late, my arms grab at him and cross each other in a sweeping motion just after he has passed me by.  He travels so fast that I seem to hear the sound of his laughter only after the streaking blur of his tiny body has exited my direct line of sight.

Then, finally in pursuit and sliding on my socks across the softwood floor as I enter another room, I will lean my body backwards to slow my momentum.

"Where did he go?" I will call out in an inquisitive yet devious voice, to no one in particular. "I'm sure he came this way!"  It's at about this time a muffled giggle usually comes from behind or under some peice of furniture.

"What was that!?"  I will exclaim as I look around the room, trying not to make it too obvious that I can see a foot, or a bum, or a ruffle of hair sticking out from somewhere in the room.   "I know you are in here somewhere, because I can hear you!" I will taunt.   "And when I find you, you are really gonna get it."

About this point I can always count on him to call out something like "I'm in the baaaathrooooom!" To which I will most often give an "Ah Ha!" before turning to leave the room for the said bathroom, giving Lukas the perfect opportunity to slip out to another room and to continue the game, often with me again recovering and  in hot pursuit.

This is a lot of fun.

Like I said, neither of us really think that during this game I couldn't find or catch him any time I wanted to.  But that just adds to the fun. 

Because this game between us is never a serious game of hide and seek.  It's more of an excuse to be silly and most of all to laugh.  We do a lot of that, he and I.  If anybody were visiting, they might think me a good dad because interactions just such as these.

I suppose that's true, but that's only half the story.  The other half involves a full time working dad who is pretty busy these days. 

One who internalizes many of the stresses of  his daily grind.  One who needs a good laugh at the end of a long day and who benefits immensely from being silly and letting those stresses melt away. 

One who really enjoys being a dad, playing fake games of hide and seek, and most of all laughing with his boy.

Stand By to Fire the Ejection Pod

Today was and exciting day here in Seattle as we were visited by none other than the famous R2D2 himself!

This is as close as I am comfortable getting...for now.

Lukas sat transfixed in the front row of the large auditorium at the Boeing Museum of Flight as Master Model Builder Bob Jacobsen explained how he spent 6 years designing and building this version of the ever popular and lovable Star Wars droid. 

And a fantastic job Jacobsen, who you can read more about at the blog Bob's R2 Droid Adventures, did too.  Both with the robot and with his presentation he held the audience rapt. With a helpful colleague working the controls behind the curtain, the Engineer had near perfect 'interaction' with Artoo as the droid beeped and chirped, flashed his lights, spun his head, and rolled across the floor in response to his cues.

Of course, Mrs. LIAYF and I were not sure how real Lukas thought R2 was, but he did understand that he had recently been built by Jacobsen.   As you can see from the picture though, Lukas came prepared by wearing his Star Wars shirt and also by bringing along his R2D2 stuffy (which he actually was hiding behind his back here so the real R2 wouldn't see it.)

Afterwords we toured the cool museum Space Wing which is all set to get the now retired Space Shuttle Trainer delivered right around Lukas' birthday, before being presented with a free model of the Shuttle Discovery to put together.

His mother took the time to do so with him right then and there, before we had to gather up our belongings and head out to a friend's 4th birthday party.

But, on the way out we were once again greeted by R2D2 who was now flanked by a couple of fully outfitted Jedi.  Again Lukas' excitement rose, and this time he decided to show the droid his mini R2 stuffy as he said his goodbye to the veteran co-pilot of countless X-Wing Fighter battles.

And, unlike his previous photo-op, this time R2 and Lukas struck up quite a conversation.

With Lukas excitedly talking about Star Wars, and R2D2 moving around beeping & chirping his responses, I glanced over at Mr. Jacobsen sitting inconspicuously a few feet away with the remote control in hand and a smile painted on his face.   I then thought about how scenarios just such as this must have been played out a thousand times in his mind during the 6 long years it took him to complete this model.  He had indeed created something magical.

"Thank you!"  I mouthed to him.  And then we were off with memories that won't soon be forgotten.

Parenting Advice from "Gunny" Highway

"Improvise, adapt, overcome" ~ Clint Eastwood as Marine Sgt. "Gunny" Highway in Heartbreak Ridge

As a parent, you learn to roll with the punches. To adapt.  It's a simple fact that you have to, or otherwise the pressure could break you into a million tiny pieces like the dried and brittle twig that you are. Then, waking to your surroundings, you would find your chin wet with drool and your attempts to speak resulting only in nonsensical mutterings as you stare at the unusually cushy walls to all sides of you.

And all because that last 'thin little wafer' that came in the form of yet another cup of milk flying off the table, was once again at odds with your EXPECTATIONS of how the meal would play itself out? Okay, maybe that's a wee bit over dramatic, but sadly, but I bet there are parents out there toeing that edge.

So yeah,  It's good to adapt.  To laugh it off.  To take stock of an unexpected situation and "Improvise" as needed. For your sanity.

The need to think quick was what I was faced with a few months ago.  We were at a restaurant.  Had just ordered our food when Lukas raced off to the restroom.   I followed, like the concerned parent that I am, wanting to make sure all was okay.  Unfortunately, it was not.  He's was usually very good, but he was still a little guy.  Plus, I don't think he was feeling very well. 

The problem was exacerbated because I wasn't carrying any spare clothes for him.  Worse yet, friends had just arrived unexpectedly and were chatting with Mrs. LIAYF at the table. So, she wasn't about to come to our rescue.   What to do?

"Improvise!" I muttered to myself, channeling Gunny Highway, as I tossed the affected garment in the trash. Then, to be sure, I carefully washed the mostly clean over-garment before ringing it out and drying it under the hand dryer for several moments.  It seemed like I was in there for hours, but maybe it was only 10 minutes.  I then helped him dress, had him wash his hands, and told him it was time to go back to our table.

"But dad...." he complained, before I told him it was okay.  That there was a name for it.  In retrospect I probably shouldn't have placed a label on our wardrobe necessity. That's because, as he exited the washroom and saw Mrs. LIAYF and our friends across the room at the table he proclaimed, in his 4-year-old outside yelling voice.....

"HEY EVERYBODY!  I'M GOING COMMANDO!"

I just looked around at all the other patrons and laughed a bit nervously, hoping that people would still find that cute coming from a little guy.  After all, like I said, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches when you're a parent.

He probably wouldn't show it on his hardened face, but had he witnessed me in action, I'm sure "Gunny" would have been proud.

Dealing With Parent Discrimination

I've mentioned this before, but I'm a fairly laid back guy.  I don't get my feathers ruffled very often, and on those rare occasion I do,  give me 10 minutes and I have forgotten about what ever it was.  I'm sure that over time this has served me fairly well, especially in the blood pressure department.

But something happened today that really irked me.  And the more I thought about it the more bothered by it I became.  Mrs. LIAYF had a weekend work project to finish, so I took Lukas out for some father/son bonding time.  We decided to go for a bike ride up and down a boardwalk near home.  It was a great morning with lots of sunshine and spectacular views. Then when we were finished, we stopped off to lunch at our favorite fast food coffee Shop 

Now, I've posted before about our affinity for this particular coffee chain, but It was at this location where the events that bothered me transpired.  The line there wasn't too long, but Lukas and I waited our turn patiently.   Then it was our turn to order, we made our selections.  Since we were having a full lunch we had to make more of a selection than just drinks.  I grabbed a fruit cup, a sandwich, a granola bar, a couple of treats, an Odwalla juice and a coffee.  I think I asked Lukas once if he would rather have a cocoa than the juice.  He declined.  We also took a brief moment to choose a the sandwich. 

All the while the cashier, a youngish guy avoided eye contact, gritted his teeth, and spoke in very short tones to me.  It became more pronounced when I asked him to put money on my card, then pay for it with the newly loaded card.  It was pretty obvious he was doing all he could to keep himself bottled up.  But, this whole transaction didn't take more than 2 minutes, tops.   Probably less.  Someone in the line ahead of us had also taken a bit of time placing their order as well.  I didn't care.

Oddly enough, for the first time since becoming a parent, I had the distinct feeling that I was the recipient of this guys ire because I had my kid with me.  It wasn't a good feeling.  Then, to top it all off, once I was done the cashier slid the next guy in line his drip coffee and loudly proclaimed "This one's on me!  I insist.  Thank you for your patience!"

Then I felt insulted.  It would have been different if I had actually taken an extraordinary amount of time, but like I mentioned this wasn't a long transaction.  Plus I had just bought $25 worth of their food.   But, I decided to try to forget about it and enjoy the lunch.  And Lukas and I did just that, having nice chat about our day and our bike ride.

But, as we were finishing up I noticed that that same cashier was having a problem.  Apparently he had entered something incorrectly while taking an order and he couldn't get it figured out.  He proceeded to call every other cashier over, including the manager while the line was held up and growing longer.  A couple of minutes later (literally), it was to the door, no one was being served, and the cashier was smiling widely as he tried to assure the customers in line that they would be served soon.

Finally, they resolved the issue and began serving the other customers.  That incident took at least 5 times as long as my transaction, probably more.  But I didn't see any free drinks being handed out.  This bothered me all over again.  Thankfully, I recognized the manager.  He had been transferred there from the coffee house near my work, where I was a long time customer.  As we were leaving, he saw me, smiled, and asked how I was doing.

"Not bad." I replied, taking a breath "But I want to tell you about the experience I just had...."

Tell me parents.  How often does this type of parent discrimination happen to you, and do you let it bother you?

Would you have said something to the manager?

Not Everyone Likes Bacon

Lukas loves listening to audio books in the car on our way to and from his Pre-K program. In fact, for his birthday last Summer we got him the audio recording 'Three Tales of My Father's Dragon' by Ruth Stiles Gannet.  He listened to that over and over again, until he had it memorized.

 In fact, he loved it so much that we then picked up an audio copy of 'The House at Pooh Corner', some of the original Pooh stories narrated by Dame Judi Dench. These were followed up at Christmas with a gift of the rest of the original 'Winnie the Pooh Stories' from his grandparents.  We listen to these all the time.

ALL. THE. TIME.  (small groan)

Thankfully they are extremely well done.  But yes, all the time.  Heck, I even have them mostly memorized, which is a minor miracle given my recent bout of early onset oldness.

Anyway, all that being said, when we happened to see a stuffed 'Piglet' animal in a store recently Lukas just HAD to have it.  We obliged, but also go him the other stuffy he wanted equally as much: A stuffed R2D2.  This seemed to bring a measure of balance to the Force.

As of late he has been carrying one of these new pals around most everywhere we go, talking to them, laughing with them, and often telling them rather animated stories.  Yep, It's real cute to watch.

Then, a couple of nights ago we had just enough time before his swimming class to stop and grab something to eat at a local restaurant.  We opted for the 24hr breakfast joint.  You know, the one that rhymes with My Slop.  Truthfully, I shouldn't be so harsh since it was actually pretty decent breakfast for dinner fare.   And it was here that Lukas made a discovery that is sure to be ingrained in his very essence for the remainder of his days on this planet.  It is a simple equation that we all know by heart.

Bacon = Good!!

He gobbled several strips of the stuff, until he declared that his new favorites foods were 1. Pancakes 2. Corn Muffins and 3. BACON. (it's first inclusion on the list.)  In fact, he liked it so much that on our way back to the car, he declared "I'm going to tell Piglet all about it!"   "That's not a real good idea buddy" I replied.

"Why not?" he quizzed. To which I responded "Do you know what bacon is made of? Pigs!" And with that Mrs. LIAYF and I could see his wheels turning for a couple of short moments, until.......

He burst out laughing.  The serious, uncontrolled kind of laughter that ends up being contagious.

It was hilarious.  And for the rest of the car trip, he would hold up Piglet and have differing conversations with him about this and that, all the while trying very hard NOT to mention what he had had for dinner.

Because, of course, not everyone likes bacon.

A Real Nail Biter

As you would expect with Christmas barely in the rear view mirror, Lukas still gets pretty excited on those days when we pull up to the house after school to find a package waiting for us on the porch.

It doesn't matter that absolutely nothing we have ordered in the past month, and truthfully there hasn't even been much, has been intended for him because he will still see it as a potential gift.  So on Tuesday, when we came home and he viewed the small package sitting by the door he was eager to see what it was.

But he shouldn't have been.

That's because, rather than it being a toy for him, it was the something he certainly would NOT like.  We unceremoniously removed his binky when Lukas was 6 months old.  Thankfully he never ended up sucking his thumb, but at some point in the past year and a half - or more - our little guy started to chew on his fingernails. 

And now he does it all the time.  Gnawing them down as far as he can, damaging his cuticles, and often leaving sharp bits of broken nails in the process.  Understandably, this has ended up being very painful for him, and by default for Mrs. LIAYF as well.

Realizing the problem early on, Mrs. LIAYF and I have tried many different tactics to get Lukas to stop chewing on his fingers.  Everything from rewards (promising to get him a Buzz Lightyear for his last birthday if he stopped) to constant reminders including pulling his fingers away from his mouth whenever we saw him with his fingers close. 

Unfortunately none of this worked.

Lukas wanted to stop too.  Especially since he often has painful fingers, like after he has gone to bed and "needs a band aid" to cover a stinging digit. (Though this has recently gotten a bit out of hand when he seems to be using that excuse to buy more time before sleep and to get a Star Wars or Phineas and Ferb bandage.)

So finally, when all else seemed to fail, Mrs. LIAYF found a product online (3 different ones actually) that professed to be a cure.  Just coat his fingers with it and he won't want to put them in his mouth anymore.  Sounds simple right?  We told Lukas it was coming and even he was on board.  After all, he did want to stop biting his nails.  So right before that nights dinner we coated his nails with the first product.

In retrospect we probably shouldn't have been serving finger foods with that meal.  That's because with the first apple slice he tossed in his mouth also went his fingers.  Immediately, his face went sideways and his mouth slowly opened leaving the partially chewed up food fully visible. 

"Ewwww!" he moaned as he spit the food out.  Then he cried.

I quickly handed my Lukas a fork as Mrs. LIAYF and I looked at each other, feeling more than a bit guilty.  It was obvious that he was completely unprepared for the terrible taste in his mouth.  In an attempt to make him feel better about it, Mrs. LIAYF then pulled one of his fingers closer and gave it a lick. 

"Vomitous" she said as she shook her head.

"Wash it off!" Lukas implored, but we had to sadly explain that it wouldn't wash off, but would only wear off in a couple of days.  It was at that point that my son held out his other hand to me "taste it daddy" he said.  I wanted to refuse, but as I looked up Mrs. LIAYF was also staring at me with expectant eyes.  So after a brief hesitation, I pulled his finger close and licked his nail. 

Immediately, I felt his pain.  To say it was pretty bad tasting stuff, would be an understatement.  I suppose that is why it's supposed to be so effective.  I again felt guilty for putting him through the experience, but that didn't compare to how we felt the next morning.  That's because apparently, Lukas also chews on his fingers in his sleep. Several times that night we could hear him wake up, wretch a few times, cry a bit, then go back to sleep.  In the morning he begged us not to use "that stuff" anymore.

Raise your hand if you feel like a bad parent (raising my hand gingerly).

The next morning we took Lukas to his Pre-K classroom and warned them of the nasty substance on his fingers.  "Make him eat with silverware" I warned them, but when we picked him up that evening he hadn't had any further problems.

And subsequently none since then either. Who knows.  As low as this experience made Mrs. LIAYF and I feel, it may be the one thing that does the trick for Lukas. 

I guess we'll keep our fingers crossed.  And coated too.