Friday, February 26, 2010

Should I be a Bigger Person?

In over two years of posting, I’ve only had one truly nasty and hurtful comment on my blog. It disparaged my son and it was signed ‘Anonymous’.

It was also from someone I considered a friend.

In actuality, we were husband friends. The kind who hang out because our wives are birds of a feather, beautiful and kind souls who share a wonderful outlook on life. This husband friend and I, however, are different kinds of people. Me more quiet and reserved, and he larger than life. Had it not been for the friendship our wives shared, we would most likely not have run in the same circles. But we hung out together on several occasions as couples.

Then several months ago our families spent a weekend away together. It didn’t go well.

Sleep was at a premium for everyone, especially the kids, and by the third day Lukas, who had not yet turned 2, had an altercation with this couples son who was a few months older. It wasn't pretty, but they were sleep deprived 2-year-olds and it was handled appropriately. Nothing more was mentioned at the time.

Then, out of the blue, came the comment a few weeks later. Again, it was nasty and hurtful and led to a heated email exchange between myself and the husband. I was angry and was finished with this person, period. And I certainly didn’t want him anywhere near my son.

Since then, including just a few days ago, we have had a few invitations from this family to get together. For an afternoon, or dinner, it didn’t matter, we have always been busy. I do appreciate the overtures from them move on, but the truth is I am just not ready to continue a relationship with the husband, no matter how good of friends our wives are.

I have thought a lot about this. Should I put this incident behind me? Should I be a bigger person? Would resuming this relationship make me a bigger person? To this day however, I have not been able to put this behind me. My protective parent instincts just won't allow me to. I feel this is my prerogative as a parent of a young child. Thankfully, my wife agrees with me on this one.

What do you say readers. Am I being too harsh? Or just a protective parent? Though he does not understand what is going on now, should I be teaching Lukas the lesson of forgiveness and second chances, or alternatively that the choice of who you feel comfortable associating with is a uniquely personal one?
I'd be interested in hearing your feedback.

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