Jeremy, over at Discovering Dad, is hosting a contest based on the question "What brings the kid out in you?" There are some great prizes, but although it would be nice to win a Nintendo Wii, I want to answer this question not solely based on any chance to win the Wii, or any other prize. The question made me stop for a second and think about that euphoric feeling I have had for a while now. Wasn't this what it was like to be a kid? Well, the answer to the posed question for me, is this:
Being a new father to my healthy, curious, energetic, smiling, fun loving, sometimes contemplative, trusting , and most of all happy 11 month old son Lukas has brought out in me that euphoric sense of wonderment with life that had all but vanished up until I learned that he had been conceived. Let me explain a bit more.
This past Friday, I celebrated my wedding anniversary to my amazing wife Mrs. LIYF. 9 years ago this past Thursday, she pulled me aside and had that conversation with me that all couples should have before they blissfully unite. She asked me this: "Are you sure you want to have kids? Because if you are not, then now is the time to say so." My answer was, of course "Yes, I am sure." Then after a couple of years of getting our lives in order, we decided it was time to begin our family.
We were not in our 20's anymore, but the first year of failure didn't get us down too much. We miscarried once, which was painful but we decided to persevere. At the end of the third year we we feeling quite down, and though not depressed, life was not filled with the joy it should have been for us. But, by the end of that 4th year, after having spent a small fortune trying everything available to us to start our family and being told by one of the country's best fertility doctors that we probably wouldn't be able to have our own child, we were seriously down. Everything was cast in shades of gray. We were not happy people but we still wanted a family so we decided to adopt. We got all of our papers in order, hired an attorney, and found a potential adoptive birth mother.
Then the very morning we were going to send our profile to this pregnant woman, we found out we had conceived Lukas. We were so happy we cried, together. We referred the birth mother on to another deserving couple and began planning our life with a child.
Ever since Lukas has been born, the pall has been lifted and every day it feels like I am a kid once again, learning new things right along with him. Each time Luke makes a new development and I am there to witness, it definitely brings out that euphoric feeling I remember having as a kid.
That is the feeling that says, "this moment right here, in and of itself, is perfect". I am 40 now, my knees ache, my back hurts at times, and I don't get out to play as much as I did before. But I feel more like a kid now than I have in years!