Thursday, March 11, 2010

File under 'Dating Advice'

As a loving father I naturally want my son Lukas to be beneficiary of the life lessons which I have painstakingly accumulated during many years of my own questionable decision making.

Take my High School years for instance. Yes I dated, but not a lot and not nearly enough to prepare me for dealing with my first college relationship - which, by the way, went horribly wrong.

So, after pulling one of my senior photos out of my high school year book last night and sharing a much needed laugh at my expense with the lovely Mrs. LIAYF, it seemed pretty clear what advice I would file away for a later conversation once Lukas reached high school, and hence dating age.

I can see the conversation clearly.

"Son, take a very close look at this here picture. If there is one thing that should be painfully clear from it, it's that if you want to be a success with the ladies during the next few years...

"Yeah, you guessed it - you'll want to get yourself a much cooler set of wheels than your old man had."

"As for those vintage 1985 parachute pants. Well, you'll want to score yourself a pair of those."
In fact, I think there may still be a pair sitting around in a dusty box in the garage. Probably piled up in a heap on top of you dads dignity.


Steve said...

Dude, your wheels makes my first car look like a motorised lawn-mower. A 1983 Ford Escort. Like this but with more rust.

SciFi Dad said...

My first car was a 1984 Ford Tempo, so I second the whole "not that bad" sentiment.

Being us... said...

Actually I saw those parachute pants at the store the other day, right next to the stir-up pants that are coming back in style!!! wheels!!

ericdbolton said...

Dude is that an Aspen?? I thought they only came in brown and pea green.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Steve - Ha, that car must have been a chick magnet. Nice.

@Scifi - It was a '74 Malibu. Awesome car. Probably the only reason I dated.

@Being Us - Really? LOL! I need to look out for them on the street.

@Eric - It is not an Aspen (in my best Governator accent)

WeaselMomma said...

You're rocking those pants! It's a mystery for the ages that you didn't a lot during those years.

Anonymous said...

My first car was a 66 Mustang. Second car after that died was a Big old GMC Suburban. The Love Boat I called it.

Playstead said...

That is awesome. I love the fact that you're selling the pants and car so well -- there were no other pants you'd rather be wearing, and no other car you'd rather be driving. And that's how it should be.

My first car - a 1969 Volvo caught fire at a gas station. Good times.

Slamdunk said...

Parachute pants! Great stuff. You were much cooler than I was. My first wheels were a compact Buick--def not a chick magnet.

Revanche said...

Those pants will TOTALLY be back in style when your lil guy is old enough to wear them. And he'll score extra points for their vintageosity.

Anonymous said...

So much better than my first car...'88 Ford Mustang...LX...yeah, not the cool one...the sedan version, with wire rimmed hubcaps in peeling off blue.

Ed said...

72' Bug, man. Chick magnet. Pants optional!

Captain Dumbass said...

It might not have been as cool in '85, but would be now. Of course you wouldn't be able to afford the gas anymore, but it would look good in the driveway.

Mrs. M said...

I had those pants too! And I wore it with a florescent orange sweatshirt and green neon belt!

Jack Steiner said...

'69 Dodge Dart Swinger with a the old Slant 6 225 in it.

Anonymous said...

Brother... that is a rockin' cool pic fo shizzle. Believe it or not... I actually had you beat on the car. My first ride was a 73 Oldsmobile Delta 88... it was about 30 feet long. The hood ornament arrived at our destination about 10 seconds before I did.

Knatolee said...

I dunno, I think you were pretty hot for our times!!! I remember guys like you in high school. :) ANd that is one shiny car!

I'm hoping Mrs. LIAYF has made sure there are no longer any parachute pants in your wardrobe. I have faith in her!

Ron said...

I'd laugh but alas, like SciFi Dad, I too had a '84 Ford Tempo & to make matters worse, I wasn't allowed to drive until I was 17.

Must be something in the air, the girls wanted to see my old yearbooks this week too. They thought it hilarious that I had my hair cut like Joey from New Kids on the Block.

Cheeseboy said...

The only thing that would make those pants cooler is if they were made of velvet.

Martin said...

You've no idea just how cool that car actually is.

To a European at least.

WILLIAM said...

MY first car was a 76 ford grenada. I painted a bat on the side. I however did not wear parachute on the dork-o-meter we were about even.

Great photo.

Martin said...

I really want to know did you paint a bat - the creature or a bat - the piece of sports equipment?

Anonymous said...

you were just a pretender unless you rocked a members only.

strong picture, my friend. makes me wonder if i should bust out some of my mullet photos.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Weasle Mama - I need a new pair of those pants!

@DC - 66 Stang? Nice.

@Playsted - I once had a U-haul catch fire on me in the Ozarks. I should post about it.

@Slamdunk - The car helped where the pants could not!

@Revanche - Yeah, he will be cool where I never waa! Thanks for stopping by.

@PJ - Ah, when the Mustang wasn't cool. I remember those cars as being a bit goofy looking. Kinda like me.

@Ed - Pants optional? You must have hung with the cool crowd. Literally.

@Captain - Oh, it was cool. I was just kidding around. Very cool and definitely a gas guzzler.

@Mighty M - We were both high fashion then? lol.

@Jack - Sounds like a cool ride. Was it?

@handstowar - That is too funny. I love those Loooooong cars!

@Knatolee - Aww, thanks. Yes, she cleaned out my closet as soon as she moved in. Lost a lot of vintage style right there.

@CK - The old yearbooks are hilarious. There are a lot of even more embarassing pics of me in mine. Maybe someday I'll hsare them. Maybe.

@Cheeseboy - So true man. So true. LOL.

Thanks for stopping by.

@Xbox - No, that car was cool here too. I was lucky to have it. Probably the only reason I dated at all.

@William - That sounds pretty awesome actually. Have you posted a picture of it before?

@Xbox - I'm sure he means the kind with wings!

@JCO - Bring them out. Post them up. Nothing like laughing at yourself. Plus, I need some company.