Thursday, March 25, 2010

Recycled Humor

The great thing about Twitter is that if you think of something funny you can instantly 'tweet' it. And, by sending it out in 140 characters or less, you can keep it short and get nearly instantaneous feedback from the people who are online and who follow your tweet stream.

It can be like a humor sugar rush.

The drawback to this free flowing form of online interaction is that most of your followers also follow hundreds of other users and the chances of your humor being received by a large group of followers who are in the right frame of mind to appreciate it, are fairly random.

So, being a citizen of one of the top recycling cities in the country, I figured maybe I would also recycle some of these 'barely used' humor tweets.

Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Breaking news: 4400 people 'Taken Away' by Calgon over the years, suddenly reappear near Mt. Rainier.

Guess I can cross 'Attend a boring meeting' off my Bucket List.

There is a Horsefly who looks surprisingly like Charles Bronson buzzing my head.

Who wants to be my Wonder Twin? Form of a Frappacino cup, by itself, gets me nowhere.

Sometimes it's a good thing kids books have words.

Walked past a dirty foil packet on the street that said 'Chicken Flavor'. Somewhere a chicken weeps for its wayward flavor.

Do they make coffee flavored cereal? Cause I would definitely be Cuckoo for Coffee Puffs.

2yo popped off the toilet and said "I did big log" Wife glared at ME, but I swear I didn't teach him that.

Waiting for my own comic book - Me: "Ok, the toilet is now unclogged." 2yo: "Yeah! Daddy's a hero!"

I couldn't do yoga, because as soon as everyone did Downward Dog I'd want to go around wiping their asses.

Ate at a semi-fancy restaurant with our 2yo for the 1st time. People knew we were classy when he took a big swig off the ketchup bottle.

No fruit for breakfast. I'm worried I'm developing an afternoon case of scurvy.

No fallen fries at the bottom of drive through bag! I feel seriously gipped.

Just had an office meeting with mesh chairs. I need one of those. It would make a great crumb filter.

Just now sent off Christmas box to the inlaws. Sharpied 12/20/09 on the outside of the box. Worth a shot.

I like that my wine pallet is unsophisticated and that I can enjoy a cheap bottle w/o caring that it is basically the 7-11 hotdog of wines.

Working on a couple days growth. 2yo: "Is a Worax (Lorax) going to pop out of your whiskers?"

Just saw an opossum on my back porch. Either that it was a humongous miming rat.

I wonder if my grandkids will ask me one day "Grandpa did you really once read of off really thin sheets of wood?"

Morning. Coffee required. You think if I fed raw beans to my cat, I could get a poor mans Kopi Luwak coffee?

Little known fact: Rubbing your wifes feet gets you more Twitter.

*Photo from Flickr Creative Commons - Hugo 90


Anonymous said...

Bonus fries rock! And I too have a distinct lack of palette when it comes to wine. Favorite bottle? $4.

Knatolee said...

These are HILARIOUS!!!! Almost makes me want to Twitter!

ericdbolton said...

I'm pretty much convinced people follow me out of guilt because I follow them and comment on their witty chunks of wisdom.

Because all my wit falls flat apparently.

Much like my blog.

WILLIAM said...

really thin sheets of wood. Classic.

SciFi Dad said...

Oooh... new header. Nice.

Also, some good twitter there.

TempestBeauty said...

Ok, seriously... some of these REALLY made me laugh out loud. Why didn't I see these tweets?!

Wondertwin, GENIUS.

Chicken minus flavur. Made me giggle.

Christmas box plus sharpie? I seriously laughed so hard I couldn't hold my laptop still.

Well done :)

Mrs. M said...

This totally cracked me up! Loved the first 2 and the last one. I think the only one I saw "live" was the Coffee Puffs. :) I'd be cuckoo for those too.

morethananelectrician said...

Funny is funny...even if recycled!

Anonymous said...

Hey... I've read all of these... because believe it or not brother... I get your Twitter updates on my phone. They are very funny... especially the horsefly one

EdathomeDad said...

Recycled Humor is excellent. I lost some of those gems in the hail storm of tweets that I follow. Thank you for doing your part in recycling.

Homemaker Man said...

I really likes a bunch of these. Thanks for the tweecycling.

Chris / Wrath66 said...

Hilarious! Thanx for recycling. Tho what does it say about me that my fav's are "I did big log" and "Daddy's a hero"?

Mom in High Heels said...

That was amazing. I have a twitter account and about 700 followers (who ARE these people?), but I never Tweet. It seems weird. And pointless. And I don't know how to do it from my German cell phone. I'm afraid if I do I'll get an insane bill and end up getting sent back to the States for failing to pay it.