Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tweetcycling IV

Happy Tuesday readers.  I haven't Tweetcycled here since the beginning of the Summer, but in honor of yesterday's National Recycle Day I thought another edition would be timely, especially since I am usually a day late on most things anyway. 

This is the series where I give some of my little used humor tweets a second chance at life. You can read the first three installments here I, II, III.

Personally, we are big into recycling of all kinds here at Casa LIAYF.  If you are looking for more information about recycling options in your area, a good place to start would be the National Recycling Coalition's homepage.

As for these tweets, most are barely used and in decent condition.

To show off my strength, I plan to print off the homepage of phonebook.com and rip it in half with my bare hands.

Future conversation. Me: Tell me! Where did you learn this stuff! Him: ...From you! I learned to act like a goofball from YOU, okay.

Suspecting the neighbors are installing Patriot Missile battery in attempt to intercept our raining fire of wayward Stomp Rockets.

It's after Labor Day now, so coffee stains on a white shirt are okay, right?

Someone with a accent just called to ask about my recent out of body experience. Turns out they were calling on behalf of a collision cntr.

The next time my 3yo repeatedly asks me "why?" I am going to respond "Ancient Chinese Seeeecret"

Someone brought a Rum cake into the office. Having another piece. Pretty sure this is the closest I'll ever be to being Don Draper.

I just attended a healthy living fair at my work. They served cookies and brownies.

The Ghost of Coffee Future took me to the mirror this morning and showed me what I'd look like without caffeine and a shower. Scary.

Wife to 3yo: Only 2 cupcakes left, should we share with Daddy? Him: Yeah! You share yours with him, okay?

I'm an AC/DC parent. Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.

Your ass is grass and I'm an eco-conscious Seattle homeowner who will watch you slowly wither and die for lack of water.

 I get a warm feeling from reading to my 3yo. Oh man, just realized he peed on me. Nice.

Excited. Wife searching online for a space mobile. Then she tells me it just hangs from the ceiling. #notasfun
'Help me help you' has surprisingly little effect on a 3yo.
I must be a blue chipper. The AARP scouts are once again recruiting me, even though I'm still years away from the show. (WheelofFortune)
Already naming his tricks. Nearly 3yo coasting on balance bike -stretching legs out to side "I'm flinging the gate!"


ericdbolton said...

I hate it when posts go by unappreciated.

I havent been able to be on TWITTER for a while so I appreciate your efforts..

Lady Mama said...

Hahaha. I'm going to remember that answer next time my son asks me "why" a thousand times.

Jack Steiner said...

I am going to have to write some of these down.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Eric - Thanks. You need to get yourself back on Twitter more often. Oh, forgot. You have 5 kids.

@Lady Mama - Yeah, but they will just stare at you like you are a bit off.

@Jack - Thanks. They will always be here.

SciFi Dad said...

"Your ass is grass and I'm an eco-conscious Seattle homeowner who will watch you slowly wither and die for lack of water."

Pure. Awesome.

Keith Wilcox said...

We used to live next to a Raytheon plant. Patriot missiles everywhere! I had no idea there was a national recycle day. People take it pretty seriously here in Boulder.

Mrs. M said...

Wish I could hire you do to do my Tweets for me. :)

Didactic Pirate said...

These tweets all feel fresh to me. You can barely tell they've been used. Ok, one has a dent on one side, but that's it.

Why am I never on Twitter when these are rolling out in their original form?

Otter Thomas said...

You definitely have to watch out for those warm feelings. I like the tweetcycling because twitter is just too busy for me. I miss everything.