Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ZZ and Me

Arrrg.  I lost another pair of sunglasses this week.  I'm bummed because these were actually a pretty nice pair for my face.  No, that's not typical. 

For whatever reason it's fairly difficult to get shades that fit snugly over the bridge of my nose without riding so close to my eyes that my lashes rub against the lenses.  Not unlike the freakishly large head of Loraine on Seinfeld, I must have a freakishly odd shaped face for shades.

Seriously though, I have torn through at least 6 pairs since last fall.

Maybe it's partly because I always buy cheap sunglasses.  I usually get them at a local drugstore - when they are on sale, of course.  But since the only mirror I can ever find at these stores is the tiny 3" x 3" one above the display I can never truly tell whether the shades look good on me, or make me look like...well, like a guy with a goofy looking pair of shades.  Unfortunately, I get more than my share of the later.

I actually had a pair for our trip to Hawaii that I bought at an old folks home thrift store.  Don't laugh, those were stylin eyes. And they were only 2 large. Washington's that is.  But typical of all good shades I find, I lost that pair on the trip.  That was a tough pill to swallow, especially only half way through our vacation.  I ended up using my backups, which sat funny on my nose. 

I never loose the crappy pairs. Just the ones that fit.  Like I said, I lose a lot of pairs.   It's a Seattle thing.  Those of you who live in places were the sun makes a consistent appearance between the months of April and September probably don't lose as many pairs because of one simple fact.   You are wearing them! 

You probably don't know this, but Seattleites buy more sunglasses per capita than anywhere else in the USA.

That's because here in Seattle the sun is often more hit and miss than the Mariners offense. Trust me, that's a lot of misses.  I know this may come as a shock to those of you toiling under the oppressive heat in the Midwest right now, but Seattle has had all of...count em....74 minutes of Summer so far this year (defined as 80F or higher temperature).  Actually, I'm not complaining.  I'll take today's 72F with a cloud cover anyday over the 132F heat index that Minnesota recorded a couple of days ago.  Yikes.

But, as a result of the sun peaking in and out of the clouds my sunglasses are on and off my face constantly.  And if I am not wearing them I am holding them, or have them on my head, or hanging them from a belt loop, or in a pocket.  Hence the reason I end up losing, or breaking so many pairs. 

Now what I don't understand is where the heck the reciprocity is.  You would think that eventually for every, or nearly ever pair I lose, that I would also find a few nice pairs.  Maybe even one.  For some reason this is not happening for me. 

Perhaps off the coast of Washington, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, there is an underwater swirling vortex of sunglasses the size of Texas.  Don't laugh, it happened with plastic grocery bags.

But now that I have once again lost  my nice fitting pair of cheap sunglasses, I am forced to carry around my back-ups.  And they make me look like a complete moron.  At least that's what I was thinking as I looked in several windows that I walked by on my way to my car this afternoon.  Of course that made me actually look like a moron I'm sure.

Hopefully my luck will turn soon and I will find another nice pair soon.  Perhaps one that some other poor Seattle schmuck lost because of our on and off sunshine.  That, or I'll have to get a pair of those cloth straps for my neck.

But I never liked those.

So tell me readers.  How often do you lose your shades?


triles said...

What a great post. I lose sunglasses all the time, which is a problem, since I live in the desert. I always buy cheap glasses because I'm sure I'll lose the expensive ones too.

Jack said...

Your sunglasses are with my socks. Hundreds of single socks that over the years have run away from home to hang out in parts unknown.

Vincent | @CuteMonsterDad said...

I've lost two pairs of sunglasses, both on the expensive side. One fell off as I playfully tussled with my then girlfriend in the summer of 1997 in the pacific ocean at Hermosa Beach, CA. The other, a few years later, off a cliff near Monterey, CA, again with a girlfriend. Not sure if there's any correlation except that one should never wear expensive sunglasses in California with one's girlfriend. Now I wear hats.

Vincent |

Casey said...

I'm in FL and lose them like crazy. Either that or my kids get ahold of them and instantly break them..

I know what you mean though, the perfect fitting ones are hard to part with.

The Angry Scot said...

Got to admit i never loose my shades ever mainly because they are prescription sunglasses since without them i would be blind, but like someone said above i maybe loose socks instead cause im forever finding my wife putting 1 sock in my sock drawer and the other is never found!

Megan said...

I once read that more sunglasses and convertibles are sold per capita in the Seattle area than anywhere else in the country... because, I'm sure, we're willing to buy a car to better enjoy the 5 nice days during the year, and we lose more sunglasses than we can count. Somehow my expensive glasses were lost within weeks of purchase, but the $3 pair I bought a couple years ago are still kicking around.

Kevin said...

I have had the same pair of sunglasses for six years! That is a record for me.

My wife on the other hand....never mind...

I hope you find the right pair soon!

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Tim - Thanks man. You sound like you would fit in well in Seattle.

@Jack - I think the socks will rise up one day with the intent on taking over the world.

@Vincent - Haha! I'll have to remember that. Thankfully I would be safe, given the girlfriend thing and all.

@Casey - I bet you can't go too long in FL without a new pair either. Thanks for stopping by man!

@Ben - I might not lose mine if they were prescription either. But, like jack, I'm with you on the socks.

@Megan - We actually did the convertible thing about 10 years ago. 5 days was about right. We got rid of it after about a year.

@Kevin - 6 year? Amazing. Your wife must have roots in Seattle though.