Monday, November 25, 2013

It Happens, With an Sh

As parents, we are all aware that sh*t can go south in an instant.

I know this because that happened to us just last night.  Let me set the scene.

We had just finished dinner, and were going about our bedtime routine with the kids, which involved taking them upstairs and getting them undressed, cleaned, a ready for stories.   However, with our garbage pickup being the next day, I needed to take out the trash, including the diaper bin.  So, leaving Mrs. LIAYF with the 2 now-naked kids, who were playing near the bookcase in Lukas' room, I made my way to the basement.

It couldn't have been more than 2 minutes after I left that I heard the screaming.

It didn't seem like a pain scream, but it did sound traumatic. It was Lukas.  I waited a second (a prerequisite) to see if it resolved itself, but when the screams of horror continued I ran back up the stairs to see what was going on.

That's where I found my wife, shirt on backwards, holding Annabelle whose feet were slipping around on the floor and on top of some books. Lukas was sobbing in the bathroom.

Apparently, as Mrs. LIAYF walked down the hall to change into PJ's Annabelle, unbeknownced to Lukas,  pulled some of his books off the shelf, and proceeded to play with them whilst also going about some of her other nightly business, right over the top of them!

It was at that point, we are surmising, that he reached down to grab a book and came up with a handful of baby sh*t instead.

The horror!

He immediately screamed and ran out of the room leaving Annabelle, who started crying uncontrollably as well,  crawling over the books and tracking her poo everywhere.

Hearing this transpire, Mrs. LIAYF had haphazardly dressed, led Lukas to the bathroom to rinse his hands, and was now holding a crap covered Annabelle at arms length when I arrived!

It was a chaotic scene for sure.

She handed Annabelle off to me without full explanation and headed for the bathroom to run a sink full of water for her leaving me holding a poo covered baby girl, wildly kicking her feet, in my arms.  Of course it wasn't long before I had received a tiny brown foot imprint on my shirt.  It was oddly reminiscent of  a father's day card her daycare had sent home this past summer.

Good times.

Then, after depositing Annabelle in the sink full of water with Mrs. LIAYF, and consoling a still sobbing Lukas who had realized his room was in need of a scrub, I was informed that there were a pile of the books in the tub which needed thrown away.  Seeing that they were 'Little Critter' books, I didn't feel so bad but when I reached in to grab them I instantly realized why Lukas was so traumatized as I came up with my own messy handful.  Yeesh!

"What are you doing?!" my wife emphatically asked as I went to rinse the books in the other bathroom sink.  "Not there!  I wash my contacts in that sink!"  So, instead I reached into the tub and turned on the faucet to rinse off the books there when the shower head turned on instead, soaking me from above!

"Ahhhhh!!!" I yelled out, water streaming down my neck and back.

Apparently, he felt better seeing this transpire.  Like an elixir,  witnessing me get the brunt of the water made Lukas laugh uncontrollably.  His laughter was contagious too, instantly spreading to Mrs. LIAYF who was still bathing Annabelle, and finally to me.  We all got a pretty big kick out of the crazy scene that just took place.   After all it WAS pretty funny.

We then cleaned up his room. And with that, thankfully our crappy night had just turned into a pretty funny story.

Plus, I got to throw out recycle a couple of Little Critter books.  Not my favorites.


Post Post Modern Dad said...

Yeah, that sounds like a pretty wild Saturday night - if we were in our 20s and about 8 beers into it. Actually, my question is why Mrs. LIAYF wasn't dressed.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@PPMD - Changing. And yes, that is about as wild as my Saturday night gets these days.

Seth said...

Glad it had a good ending!