Monday, February 29, 2016

10 Signs You May be an Old Dad

Boys pants, and Curtains were perhaps in same
section of Sears 1975 catalog?

I love being a dad!  I really do.  But the truth of the matter is that I didn't exactly get an early jump on the game.   Sometimes I feel like an old dad.  But that's because I am.  I'm 48 with a 3 year old, so I think I qualify.  

How about you gents?  If you are a dad, younger than me and reading this, you might wonder if you should you classify yourself as an old dad too.  Well, if you aren't sure, no problem, because I've listed 10 handy signs that may just indicate you really are an old dad.  

See if any apply.

1.  Your memory is such that when your son asks you to tell him a story about when you were a little boy all you can muster is "Ancient Chinese Secret!"

2.  You're not too disappointed when your kids have bad dreams in the middle of the night, because that also means that after you put them back to bed you can make a much needed pit stop on your way back.

3.  Your 3 year old spills milk on the kitchen floor, and since bending over to wipe it up seems like too much effort, you decide a better option is simply soak it up with your sock.

4.  After looking at hundreds of digital pictures of themselves your kids want to see pictures of you when you were a kid.  Unfortunately, all you have are a pathetic few tattered, misaligned, and color-faded prints.

5.  After looking at said color faded pictures, you're very thankful the Sears Catalog is no longer the most convieient method parents have for back to school shopping.

6. Whenever your kid gets the slightest nick or scrape you pipe in with "We can rebuild him, we have the technology!" while simulating a choppy, slow motion, bionic run.

7.  After you both hear a great song on classic rock radio your kid is visibly confused when you tell him "I think I used to have that one on tape."

8.  You make a special trip to Costco just to 'Buy ibuprophen'.

9.  You kid laughs when you tell him you had a party phone line growing up, and the party consisted of 'some nosey neighbors who could listen in on you'.

10.  When challenging your son to a game, and he says 'You're going down', you respond by saying "No, you're going down.  Down, down, down, to a Valley Deep Below".  

Bonus sign:  You interrupt your son, whose very deeply involved in a game of Minecraft, just to tell him "You know Buddy, I used to kill it at Galaga."

Done?  Need more time? Nodded off in the middle? Well, If more than one of these apply, you should probably consider yourself a member of the club.

I'd stay to chat about it, but I'm tired and really feel like going to bed now. 

Hopefully someone will have a bad good dream and want to wake me up to tell me about it.


Post Post Modern Dad said...

And now I have the Six Million Dollar Man theme in my head.

How about this one - every time they watch The Muppets you lament they aren't actually watching new episodes of The Muppet Show.

Did you every try to explain how to get the UHF stations to come in to your kids? That will make you feel old.

James (SeattleDad) said...

@PPMD - We used to have a giant metal antenna we would manually rotate to try to get our 3 channels to come in without fuzz. Good times. And I am hoping that when I return to Disney in April (first time since I was 11, that the Six Million Dollar man ride will still be there.

Larry said...

Funny list.
I don't want to admit how many I can agree with!
I'm not that old - just a little old.
Ahh, who am I kidding?