Hi, 5!

I also got my first gum today!

Lukas, or as Mrs. LIAYF and I affectionately call him 'The Best Boy EVER' turned 5 years old today!

Mrs. LIAYF and I went in to work late today so he could open presents, and I could make him his favorite breakfast - Banana Walnut pancakes with Peanut Butter, and scrambled eggs.  Kudos to Mrs. LIAYF, who worked into the wee hours making a very cool crown for Lukas after he informed us as he went to bed that that was what he wanted most for his birthday.

We dropped him off at Pre-k for a couple hours with home made Rice Crispy treats also made lovingly by his mother.  I then picked him up early so we could go see 'The Pirates - Band of Misfits' on the big screen. One word review - "Okay".  Afterwords a trip to the rocket novelty store yielded some extra gifts before dinner out then we made our way home to finish out the day.

But the fun doesn't end there.  We still have a few fun things planned over the next week to celebrate.

My regular readers know the immense amount of happiness I get out of being a father.  After all I write about it all the time.  The past 5 years have far and away surpassed any in my previous 40 for the amount of sheer joy, and number of sublime moments they contain.  Of course I owe that all to him.

Even though I said it to him in person several times today.  I wanted to echo that sentiment here.  Happy 5th Birthday Lukas!   You are a self assured, hard working, funny, loving, compassionate, silly, articulate, strong-willed, kind boy.

And your mother and I love you very much.

There's a LIGHT at the End of This Post

I mentioned in my last post that Lukas will turn the big 05 this week.  And, as I am sure many of you parents out there know when your child is due to, or has just turned a certain age you are sure to be involved in the "Birthday Circuit".

We are currently running in the 5th Birthday Circuit.  Along with the 30 other kids in Lukas' Pre-K class, he also has a lot of local friend in their 5th year too.  That makes for a lot of birthday parties.  In fact, we attended another one Sunday. And at this one a funny thing happened.  Ironically, it was the same funny thing happened at Lukas' 5th birthday party just the previous week.

His was a Star Wars themed party where he was dressed up as Luke Skywalker.  The party was also for two other kids in his class who also turned 5 in June.  A boy, who was dark haired, taller, and bigger framed than Lukas.  He was Han Solo.  And a girl, who came decked out as none other than Princess Leia herself.

Sound awesome? It was, but you will have to take my word for it.  We didn't get many pictures.  We gave the kids blow up light-sabers, had a ton of Star Wars themed crafts, decorations, and treats,  and even.....wait for it......projected Episode IV onto the wall of the community center where it was held.  Sure, it was loud in there and the kids couldn't really hear the movie, but that didn't deter from the atmosphere.

The kids did get a bit...err...wild at times with the blow up sabers, but it was definitely a memorable party.  Not having many pictures was a shame, since they would have been awesome too.  We are actually hoping some of the other parents got some great shots they can send along.

But none of what I just mentioned is the funny thing that happened at both parties.  Especially since the one on Sunday was not a Star Wars themed party.

What did happen?  Well at both parties, which were attended by a large number of parents, the hosts were gathering everyone up to sing happy birthday, but when we got to the part where we actually light the candles we came to the realization we didn't have any matches.  And, a survey of all the parents in the room (more than 30 in our case) yielded nothing either.  No smokers.  Not a one.

Now, thankfully our party was at an urban community center, and there was a shady looking dude lounging out on one of the couches who was a smoker and loaned us a match. (Later I delivered him a cupcake with Yoda on a toothpick stuck on top to show my gratitude).  But it took that one guy to save the day.

This certainly would have been unheard of at my 5th birthday party nearly 40 years ago.  Although thankfully my parents didn't smoke, they were in the minority.  At many of our extended family parties back then someone might have just as easily cut the air mistaking it for the cake.  That was just the culture.  Can we get a collective  "We have come a long way from those days"?

And, as Mrs. LIAYF reminded me, as kids we used to suck down candy cigarettes like they were, well, real cigarettes.  Crazy.  That would be like us giving our kids little candy bottles of tequila, or Night Train.

Anyway, when the time came to sing we thankfully received what we needed,  a light.

Have a great week everybody.

Photo Credit: fistofblog.com

A Dad Streaking Outlier

Lukas will turn five years old next week. 5 years!

In many respects that is amazing to me.  How can it be that I have been a father for nearly 5 years?  It really does seem at times like yesterday Mrs. LIAYF and I were holding a tiny newborn in our arms at the hospital, myself a little dumbstruck thinking about how I was going live up to the awesome responsibility of protecting and nurturing the fragile life that was gazing back at me through bleary eyes.

So far so good.

Today, I can report that after countless hours of sleep deprivation, worrying, tough decisions, and endless laughter filled days, I think I have grown nearly as much in these past 5 years as Lukas has. Which is significant.

But my growth, of course, has been as a parent. In the world of Malcolm Gladwell, I am actually now a Parenting Outlier.  That theory posits that to be truly successful at an endeavor one has to spend at least 10,000 hours practicing or participating in it.

Well, guess what? Lukas is now 4 years, 11 months, and 26 days old.  In hours that translates to 43,728 hours, and counting.  That would actually make me a dad Outlier 4 times over!

Yes, that's all well and good but I'm not foolish enough to think I have it all figured out.  I know that I don't.  But I have to say, the father that I am today is a far cry from the one who was initially afraid I was going to hurt Lukas every time I held him in those first couple of days.  Today, I am confident that I will make good decisions on my sons behalf.  That I am doing right by him.  That is a pretty amazing feeling, one that I am sure many of you share.  But it's certainly not one I will allow myself to take for granted.

I know that I have to continue to learn both with him and from him.  That I need to continue to look out for his well being, and let Lukas know that, along with Mrs. LIAYF, I am here for him whenever he he needs me (even when he thinks he doesn't) and most of all that I love him for exactly who he is.

That reminds me.  A while back I wrote a post over at Dad Revolution called #DadStreaking.

I'm happy to report that I am still streaking.  Those 4 years, 11 months, and 26 days that I mentioned earlier, well they also translate to 1822 days.  That is my current streak.  I have told Lukas that I love him 1822 straight days.

And counting.

How about you readers?  Are you a Streaker too?

Like Highlander, only Better

Happy Father's Day other Dads.

I hope you all have a relaxing Sunday filled with the kinds of fun activities (or not) that you enjoy most.  That IS what this day is meant to be about.

Now I'm sure you are all really great fathers and role models for your children.  If you are a fellow Dad Blogger, know that I read a lot of your posts and I have to tell you, am duly impressed.  This New Face of Dads generation is great to see, watch, and read about.  Any kid would be lucky to have any of you readers for a their dear old dad. But I have to say,  in the realm of great dads there can be only one.

Yes, like Highlander.

If you haven't seen Highlander, you can just stop reading now.  This is not your type of Dad Blog. As I said:

THERE. CAN. BE. ONLY. ONE.

So, sorry other dads, but that would be me.  If you happen to receive a mug, or a drawing with a certain inscription on it for Father's Day, that's nice but you should know that history is littered with examples of frisbees, yes frisbees, symbolizing excellence in fatherhood.

It's true. Ancient Greek children were actually known to go out on their own on years long pilgrimages to search for rare "Throwable Disks" to be presented to their fathers.  But only when the father was held in the highest regard.*

And, If that isn't proof enough, consider that recent cave paintings dating back some 80,000 odd years have been found in Central Europe depicting what can only be described as a child and his father tossing a circular slab of rock back and forth in apparent play.** Amazing! 

So, apologies to all others, but  I am now World's Best Dad.

I have the Frisbee to prove it:

Now my most prized possession.

I was presented this 'throwable disk' at a special BBQ Friday at Lukas' Pre-K.  I could tell he put an amazing amount of love into making it for me.  We then played with it joyfully for nearly 45 minutes before I had to return to work.  It really was a great afternoon and yet another reminder of how much I love being a dad.

All previous kidding aside fellas, I look to you all for inspiration.  Happy Father's Day!

And Happy Father's Day to my own father too.  Thanks Dad.  To me, YOU are the World's Best Dad.

*   I may have dreamed this
** This may have been a depiction of a hunting scene

Dad's A-Z: M is for Mountain Climbing

It was a beautiful day in Seattle on Sunday, so we decided to go "Mountain Climbing".

Headed to the top.

Sure, for all intents and purposes we actually went on a day hike, but it was a pretty intense hike for a 4 year old (not to mention his parents) being about 4 1/2 miles, with a 1200 foot elevation gain.   Plus, we hiked to the top of aptly named Mt. Si, in the foothills of the Cascades outside of Seattle...so I am calling it mountain climbing.   You don't have a problem with that, right?

Anyway, this was our first time climbing Mt Si, so we didn't know quite what to expect.  This trail is a little brother to the more famous Mount Si trail which gains a pretty strenuous 3200 feet of elevation during the 8 mile hike.  I can only imagine how difficult that would be to summit with a kid Lukas' age.  That's because this one was a bit tougher than we expected.

Mount Si.

It wasn't impossible by any means though, as Lukas never complained a bit on the way to the top, or on the way back down.  Overall, with time to lunch on top, it was about a 4 1/2 hour round trip.

"You're almost there!"

This trail was a definite step up for Lukas, as the previous longest hike Mrs. LIAYF and I had taken him on was a fairly flat 3 mile round trip to Cranberry Lake on Camano Island north of Seattle.  I have to say, we were both very impressed with how he handled himself with all the climbing, especially through steep, slippery, and muddy spots.

It took us about 2 hours to climb to the summit, and after about the first hour we met quite a few people on the trail who were also impressed with Lukas' ability.  They would say "You're almost there."  Of course we heard that several times during the next hour. We started to think they were feeding us a line.

 Lukas was easily the youngest hiker we encountered doing the hike all by himself. 

When we did finally make it to the top, we were treated with some pretty amazing views of the valley below, and of Hawks circling several hundred feet down.  We also had a great picnic lunch overlooking a steep bluff, and met several chipmunks darting about.

Lukas on top of Little Si.

After that, it was time to head back down.  And, despite falling a couple of times and scrapping his knee and getting gouged in the neck with a walking stick, Lukas kept in very good spirits.

If fact, every time he saw a group of people coming up the trail - even when we were almost to the bottom - he had to say hello, before giving them some much needed reassurance.

With a big smile, he would tell them.  "You're almost there!"

Dad's A-Z: L is for LEGO, Of Course

What we really did in Maui

Our neighborhood had a  'Garage Sale Day' a couple of weeks back.  You could pretty much throw a stick in any direction from our house and hit a pile of old plastic cups, ratty t-shirts, and half used perfume bottles going at ridiculous prices.  Ridiculously high prices.

But thankfully there were also some bargains to be found. Case in point at a sale a couple of blocks away, we found a couple of brand new LEGO board games for one Washington each.  This was exactly the type of bargain we were looking for.  That's because Lukas likes Legos. 

Ha ha ha, I can't even type that with a straight face.

Lukas is actually OBSESSED with his Legos.  They are not only his favorite toy, but pretty much the only toys he plays with these days.  He has even stopped asking to watch videos in lieu of more Lego building time.  Of course we are happy to oblige.  In fact, our recent flight to Maui was made so much easier because we bought him a new set to build for each leg of the trip.  He easily sat for 3 hours straight and just built Legos..

We even have a chore chart set up where he can earn a nickle for helping out with various chores around the house.  He has now saved up for 3 separate $20+ sets in the past couple of months, including the Lego Space Shuttle, and most recently the Alien Conquest Tripod Invader.  Almost as coveted as the bricks are the instruction manuals which include pictures of other sets that can also be collected.  Mrs. LIAYF and I already have a couple of sets ready to give to Lukas for his upcoming 5th birthday.

But do you want to know the most amazing thing about Lukas and his Legos?  It's the hybrid creations he makes out of all the pieces.  Most sets barely get put together before they are torn about for their pieces.  Seriously, it's like he is running a little Lego chop shop, breaking down sets for the parts.  Thankfully though, so far he is only 'procuring' the parts from his own sets to use in his very own creations.

But he has really surprised me with the sophistication of some of his vehicles.  He actually made us agree to take a picture of his creations before he breaks them down to build something else.

That is Luke Skywalker flying an Alien Ship

Recently he has even had the nerve to challenge me to a ship building contest, with Mrs. LIAYF being the judge of who creates the "Coolest" ship.

How could I say no to that.   Here is what Lukas came up with:

Game On!

And, here is mine:

That is some serious firepower!

Of course, Mrs. LIAYF deemed Lukas the winner. 

With his highly functioning imagination, and boost in brain development from playing with these amazing toys, I have to agree.

Viva la LEGO!

Dad's A- Z: K is for Kapalua

Aloha readers! Yes, the LIAYF family is on a much needed vacation in beautiful Maui.

It was Mrs. LIAYF and my 13th Anniversary last Wednesday and we are celebrating by visiting the Island where we honeymooned. Lukas is with us and having a blast too, as he has learned to snorkel since arriving. Snorkeling was actually what brought us up to Kapalua today. We looked forward to seeing some colorful fish and turtles.

Instead I saw a lot of sand from my goggles. A lot of sand! That's because as soon as we got ourselves situated in the neck deep swirling water and Mrs. LIAYF swam off with Lukas, my wedding ring slipped right off my finger.

I immediately had a sinking feeling that after 13 years, my wedding band was lost forever.

That was not a good feeling.

As I mentioned the sand was shifting underfoot so I knew the ring was most likely buried right away. But I searched over and over again anyway. Mrs. LIAYF and Lukas came and helped me look for a while, before lovingly assuring me that it was okay and that it could be replaced. Still I felt sick about it for obvious reasons. They eventually went back to the beach while I stayed and searched. Several people watching from the beach trickled away as the time past.

After about an hour and a half later, exhausted, I was about to give up when a glimmer caught my eye. It was a sliver of the mostly buried band lying about 5ft deep. I removed the snorkel, took a breath and dove for it grabbing a handful of sand. And the ring!

Relieved, I gave my family the good news and a big hug. Engraved inside my band Mrs. LIAYF had added the Pearl Jam lyric "Don't it make you Smile" from a song we listened to a lot while dating.

The answer is yes, it certainly does.

(posted from my iPhone so forgive any formatting issues)

Aloha!

Dad's A-Z: J is for Just Breathing

I just spent a very nice three day weekend with Lukas and Mrs. LIAYF. We slept in, picnicked, hiked, grilled, and even got some things crossed off the to do list.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  

Over the past several months I've been working long hours and the stress level has risen perceptibly at work.  Thankfully, some big projects are getting done and I am finally getting a chance to catch up on many other nagging projects without those important deadlines looming.  In fact, I was as relaxed this weekend as I have been in quite a while.  

Add to that the fact that we are all going on vacation next week and I am feeling like I can finally breathe a bit easier now.  We have all been there, right?  Too much to do and too little time to do it in. Those are the times when having your loved ones near and supportive become so valuable. 

"Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones I love
Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none uh-huh"

~ Just Breathe by Pearl Jam

Dear Mrs. LIAYF and Lukas, 

Thanks for always being there for me, even when I'm distracted.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man! Happy Monday all.

Dad's A-Z: I is for Inconceivable!

A day on the beach with Lukas is priceless

Sometimes a dash of perspective goes a long way.

Just the other day, I was feeling put off about something.  I must have been pretty insignificant, since I no longer have any idea what it was.  Honestly, I think it was just one of those long work days where things don't quite go your way.  Anyway, as I was in the midst of feeling crummy, Mrs. LIAYF called to check in on a long time friend in another state who has been having a rough time lately.

Her friend is a single mother of three, including twins who are about to turn one year old.  And she has no family close by to support her.  The twins have been sick a lot lately, and her older daughter also severely broke her nose recently. All this has resulted in her having to take off a lot of work lately.  She is naturally exhausted, and nearly out of sick days.

But you want to hear the worst part?  Trust me, you do.  Well this dedicated mother, our good friend,  has been off work so much dealing with her sick and injured offspring that she wasn't there to partake in a certain office activity.  One where her co-workers, the people she interacts with on a regular basis, gathered together to pool their resources and....buy some Lottery Tickets.  Do you know where I am going with this yet?  Yes, it's true.

Her co-workers won the lottery.

It will be a $1.6 Million payday for each of her group of co-workers.  The ones without the sick twins. Ouch! How awful would that be to have happen to you?  Suddenly, my troubles didn't seem so significant anymore.  Funny how that works, isn't it?

Thankfully, our friend is keeping a positive perspective on the whole situation.  She is a great mother and a super friend to Mrs. LIAYF,  so we really feel bad for her.  Then again, as cliche as it sounds, with all the time she is dedicating to her beautiful children she will be rewarded with wealth beyond imagination.

If I had to give up the opportunity to win a million dollars, or five million, or even one hundred million dollars to be with Lukas when he really needed me I would do it in a heartbeat.   No questions asked.  Of course, if I could do both I undoubtedly would,  but the point is that I wouldn't have to think about it.  It would be inconceivable to me not to.

This surprises me.  Scratch that, that would surprise the me of five years ago, but not the me of today.  Being a dad is that valuable to me.

In the moment, while tired and stressed and dealing with sick babies that line of reasoning may be of little consolation to her. But it is real, and with time the memory of finding out her co-workers had won the lottery without her may fade, but the memories of spending time with her family will definitely not.  Take it from someone who has already hit the jackpot.

And on another bright side, if any of those winners did decide to return to work,  who do you think might receive some pretty wonderful birthday gifts?

Dad's A-Z: H is for Half Life

"Brains!" "Dip!"

Half Life, abbreviated  as t1/2, is defined as the period of time it takes for the amount of a substance undergoing decay to decrease by half.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a substance undergoing decay.  Sometimes I'm also wondering if I've reached my chronological Half Life yet.  (This is otherwise know as Middle Age) Honestly it feels like my rate of decay is increasing these days.  Of course, I hope I haven't reached my half life already. I'm still in my mid-forties for crying out loud.

When I was younger, I have to admit I was not worried about getting old.  Not at all.  This was because I was convinced that by the time I did get 'old' (I don't think at the time I actually had an age associated with it, but I figured I would know it once I got there) that scientists would surely figure out the cure to all those ailes that plauge us.  And, of course, I would be a beneficiary of all that new knowledge - allowing me to live well into my 100's.  Yes, I was that naive.

And no, I'm not so sure of that anymore.  Sure, the rate of scientific progress has been fast, but not as fast as I had assumed it would be. What an utterly disappointing realization.   I think we're going to need more scientists.

My niece Alyssa is currently studying to be a cancer researcher at college right now.  She's super smart, but I know of no plans to clone her at this point.  This would be a good idea.

The sad fact is, as of late I have been noticing a particularly large number of accounts of men in their 40's actually dropping dead.  Kicking the can.  Liquidating their assets. Swimming with the fishes. Ceasing to be.  Well, you get the picture.  Bottom line: These poor fellas are no longer around to enjoy the life they worked so hard to build.

Now, I don't have any statistics on whether guys in their 40's check out any more often than at any other age,  but it sure seems like I am hearing or reading about a ton of them of late.  One minute I read about a guy keeling over from a heart attack, the next another about a dude who succumbs to the Big C.  Each one of these makes me cringe.  Maybe statistically there are more deaths of guys in middle age than later, or maybe I am just noticing more because I am there now. 

Dropping Dead?  Increasing rate of decay?  Maybe I should be starring in an episode of The Walking Dead.

Like I said, I'm noticing more.  That's why I am finally doing something about it.   One has to start somewhere.  Today, I found myself eating mouthfuls of baby carrots while my office was having a chip and dip party.  It's part of a bigger plan. This was extremely difficult though, as my primal self was fighting the insatiable urge to dive onto the table and face plant itself into a bowl of artichoke dip.  But no, I'm in my forties now and I need to change my eating habits, right?   I need to ensure that I didn't reach my half life back back when Grunge was all the rage.  Hence the carrots.

They were not satisfying.

Honestly though, If I am going to eat healthier, lose weight, and increase my chances of a very long and productive life, it will not be for me.  I would just as soon die with a slice of pizza in one hand and a beer with a red vine straw in the other.  No, I am trying to be healthier - to slow my rate of decay and increase my half life- for the Lukas and Mrs. LIAYF.  I need to be there long term for both of them.

The thought of Lukas having to grow up, go off to college, get married, have kids of his own, and most of all watch the Mariners win their first world series without his father are tough to swallow.  I need to keep this in mind while I battle my junk food demons.  Ultimately, it will lead to better habits.

And a Full Life.