Monday, June 7, 2010

Further Proof Clowns are Creepy

(Not the clown in question)
I'll be blunt, clowns are not held in high regard around the LIAYF household.

Sure, I can see where young kids might be enchanted by the bright colors and goofy antics which most clowns employ to keep their audiences attentions. I can take em or leave em myself, however Mrs. LIAYF doesn't mince words. She has made her opinion of clowns known on many occasions "All I see are creepy old guys in makeup."

Naturally, given this, my lovely wife and I have attempted to keep our home as clown free as possible. There are no clown toys, or books, or videos here for Lukas to be exposed to. And no, neither has he ever been to a McDonald's restaurant. Of course this is not because of a possible clown sighting, but helps us to avoid them nonetheless. And even though he is aware of what a clown is (he picked it up somewhere), there is a possibility given the yellow suit that, upon seeing him for the first time, he might even mistake Ronald McDonald with The Man with the Yellow Hat.

So yes, we avoid clowns. And I think I can safely say that Lukas is no worse off for living in a clown free environment. But the inevitable was bound to happen sooner or later. We were at Seattle's Folklife Festival over Memorial Day weekend eating a picnic lunch and enjoying the sights and sounds when Lukas turned to see a brightly dressed clown across the lawn.

"Oh, what's that?!" he exclaimed and jumped up to run over towards the clown. I yelled to Lukas to STOP which he did about half way there, but by the time I had reached him the clown was walking towards us at a steady pace.

"Who is it?" my son asked once again, to which I responded that it was a clown. "Does he look funny?" I asked him. "Yeah". "Well, here he comes. I'm here so why don't you say hi to him." "Ok!"

At this point the clown was a few steps aways and spotted Lukas, who had a big smile on his face. He then reached into his pocket and while barely slowing down, and not saying a word handed something bright orange to my son as he passed by.

It was a business card.

Lukas looked at it with a puzzled look as the clown, in full stride, was off across the lawn. No hello, no smile, no squeezing his big red nose. Just a lousy business card. I was thinking to myself about how this jerk just reinforced all our notions of creepy clowns, and that perhaps this blow off would be the perfect opportunity for my little guy to gain an early appreciation for what clowns are really like. Then I looked down at Lukas.

"Look! Look! Look what he gave me, Daddy! he excitedly shrieked. "It's an orange card!'

Not wanting to ruin his moment I simply responded. "Wow, that is pretty cool son! Can I see it?"

P.S. You can see Lukas holding the clown business card


Steve said...

I think maybe you and Lukas both had a point.
Fortunately there's nothing like your kid's happiness to dissipate a bad mood. Even so, what a jerk.

Mrs. M said...

Jeesh! We are not clown fans around here either!

Lady Mama said...

Are you serious? Wow. Marketing to children gone crazy. Is that how clowns get customers now then?

Dan said...

No TV, No clowns?

I'm calling social services.

Actually I hate clowns with a passion. Always scared me ridged, even more so after I saw IT whn I was 12

SciFi Dad said...

Why do I always have to be the one to bring up Spawn when the Clown discussion starts?

Ed said...

Clowns, I tend to agree, can be a tad creepy. But what about mimes? Talk about weirdness!!

ericdbolton said...

I know that clown.. he goes by the name of "D-Baggy"

WILLIAM said...

the clown was pimping.

Eric said...

Clowns freak me out!!!!!!!

If I Could Escape . . . said...

FFS, I'm so sorry but I could not read this post in its entirety on account of that freakish clown staring at me! I'm sure it was brilliant as always!

Anonymous said...

I'm no clown expert, but that clown certainly deserves consideration as the worst clown ever.

Irrational Dad said...

Hahahaha!!! Does the card at least HONK if you squeeze it? The least he could have done was make a balloon animal to show off his awesome clown skills.

Kevin Bruce said...

wow! That's clown has some squeeky balls handing your kid a biz card right in front of you :P

Aunt Becky said...

I just had a heart attack looking at that picture.

One time, I saw a clown driving a car. I NEARLY drove off the road. NO JOKE. THEY DRIVE CARS. What. The. Hell?

Rich said...

Have you ever heard the song "Clowns" by Too Much Joy? You might want to check it out sometime.

Nice entry.


Jack said...

Some clowns are just downright weird.