Friday, June 11, 2010

Warning: This Post is Just for Men

Staring blankly ahead at the abyss that constitutes 2 score and 3 years on this rock, today doesn't find me buying into the whole Fatherhood Keeps You Young myth. Rather, today I am finding it pretty hard to ignore the obvious. At the end of this month I will be the parent of a 3 year old, and *gasp* I am beginning to show my age.

It was just this morning while working at my desktop that I realized that I was leaning at a noticeable angle into the screen. In fact, I was probably less than 6 inches away. It took me a minute but then I remembered that I actually had a pair of glasses in my desk. I'd had them there for maybe three or four years, ever since my left eye started getting weaker. I had only worn them for a short while but had discarded them because they were a pain.

Apparently, Lefty has gotten worse because when I put them on *ZOINKS! KAPOW!* I was instantly floored at how much better I felt. Plus, the colors were brighter, the textures much more visible, the images so much sharper. Blah, blah. You get the picture.

But it was definitely a marked improvement. And moving forward I'll just have to deal with the fact that my right eye has become decidedly more powerful than my left and since it's no longer compensating for its weaker sibling it could start going rouge on me. Perhaps seeing right through clothes, into people's souls, or possibly even burning holes through people's skulls. This could have dangerous implications if not dealt with properly.

Then, a short while later, as I parked myself in front of the Men's room mirror here at work with my glasses on, I was also able to notice that as much as I had wanted to think Mrs. LIAYF was simply giving me a hard time lately, that yes, there actually was a bit of salt sprinkled in with the pepper that is my hair.

No, this was not my first realization that I had gray hairs. That actually came a few months ago while in the bathroom back home. At the time, I heard Mrs. LIAYF let out a mini chuckle, before announcing that I had a gray hair growing out of my ear, while she tried to suppress a larger laugh. "No way!" I protested, sure that she was simply either messing with me or else misjudging its color.

It was at that point - cat quick - she reached up, clamped on, and ripped that bugger right out of my ear, roots and all. After screaming like a 9 year old girl for a couple of seconds, I opened my eyes to see what was unmistakably a fairly long gray hair dangling in front of me. Seriously? It looked like one of our cat's whiskers. This was one of those moments. I couldn't help it. We both burst out laughing - so hard tears eventually formed. Thankfully, that was the one and only gray (or any color) ear hair I've had to deal with.

But standing there this morning, in the men's room with my glasses on, I could actually see the small sprinkling of gray dusting my landscape. This was a harsh reality. One that was hard to ignore. I am an older father, and unfortunately for me and for Lukas, one who ought to be in better shape.

I'm not sure yet if this revelation will spark me into any kind of action. Perhaps from a fear that I will be the butt of jokes from my son's high school friends. I can hear it now "Hey Lukas, why is your Grandpa picking you up from school today?".

I'm thinking about it. That's all I can muster right now. I'm too tired.

This post was brought to you by FatherHood Friday over at Dad-Blogs. Head on over and check out some of the other great posts. You'll be glad you did.


Ed said...

Embrace the gray. It happens to the best of us -- and the worst!

ericdbolton said...

You should play into the jokes and yell at the whipper snappers who come into your yard..

And I have no empathy for the gray, I'm sorry. Having five kids will put gray hairs on your head pretty dang quick..

SciFi Dad said...

Think "Get off my lawn" Gran Torino style.

I've got the odd white hair in my beard... they're hard to find sometimes because my beard also has a lot of ash (light blonde; always has). My head has no grey, but it's also receding faster than the California coastline.

WeaselMomma said...

Don't sweat it. You have earned through blood, sweat, worry and tears each and every last gray hair. It's a proud battle scar. However, keep the ears and nose well trimmed.

Steve said...

Hey, if YOU are old what does that make me (at 2 score years and 6)!
Face it, the ear hair, the grey hair, the grey ear hair... it's all inevitable but it's all a sign of our maturity and gravitas. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

TechyDad said...

I don't have gray hair yet, but I do have abundant ear and nose hair. And B is fond of telling me that my hairline is receding. I still don't see it, but she insists it's doing it. Geeky guy that I am, I've actually considered loading some old photos of me onto my computer, figuring out the ratio between my eyes/hairline and eyes/lips (the latter being something that shouldn't change with age) to prove that the hairline isn't changing. I would do all that, but I'm too busy shooin' them young whippersnappers off mah lawn.

Adam said...

One score +7 here and already going grey. Survey says: it's the kids.

Also I don't understand all that newfangled music and vampire nonsense the kids are going on about these days....

Keith Wilcox said...

I'm with SciFi dad. Gran Torino style old is pretty awesome.

I've noticed a few grey hairs sprouting through my skull as well (though non in my ear). My eyesight is still pretty good, but my joints are indeed decidedly more creaky. Yup, that would be age starting to creep in. My twin sister's husband is 52 years old (we're 35) and he's got 3 toddlers to deal with. Must be fun!

Mrs. M said...

Grey hair is handsome and totally okay for men. Just not in your ears, okay? :)

Anonymous said...

I don't have any hair growing out my ears but I do get those REAL thick hairs growing out of my nose!

I'm gettin' me a few gray hairs as well. I kind of like 'em. Makes me feel grown up!

Kelsi said...

Its okay!! While you may be an "older" dad, you are still one of the best!!! =] and a great uncle too!! =]

Babes about Town said...

Love this. Just stumbled across your blog and I'm adding you to my list of Hot Daddy Blogs for Father's Day (upcoming).

We grey early in my family, my brother had his first grey at 16, so don't let a few stray greys age you! You're only as old as the baby you feel (and you can borrow that one for free).

Pam said...

hahaha long grey hair in your ear...yup, that's how you know you're getting old. i'm very grey. i probably look like grandpa munster and i've been wearing glasses for several years my husband tried for two years to hold off ever getting his eyes checked though he often had trouble seeing. he'll be 47 in aug, and i'll have fun telling him he's nearing 50 lol loved the post :0)

James (SeattleDad) said...

@Ed - So who is best and who is worst. lol.

@Eric - Yes, I bet it does.

@Scifi - Now if I only had a Gran Torino.

@WeaselMomma - Will do!

@Steve - At our age there is not much difference.

@TechyDad - Do it for all the husbands man, do it for all of us. lol.

@Adam - It is the kids! And in my day vampires were just Lost Boys!

@Keith - 52 with 3 Toddlers. Poor guy.

@Mighty M - I think Mrs. LIAYF took care of that once and for all.

@Handstowar - Yeah, its hard to believe I am in my 40's and sometimes don't actually feel like a grown up. Those are fewer and further between these days.

@Kelsi - That was sweet. Thanks kido. I guess one of these years I should quite calling you that.

@Babes - Thanks for stopping by, and for including me on your list. Always wanted to visit London. Maybe someday.

@ciara -Thanks. Thankfully 50 is still a ways away for me. But at the rate time is flying by it will be here in no time.

Slamdunk said...

Ha, sounds like you handling the process well. I would prefer to have gray hair--I would prefer to have any hair as it as fled the scene long ago.

Kevin Bruce said...

I just about sprayed my Ensure across my screen when I read this :D 42 years here, and I have not only developed TWO rogue ear hairs but now sport a Dr. Reed Richards look with the grey hair :P Sympathies to ya, man!

Anonymous said...

My grandfather's hair turned white in his early 30's and he never looked back. I'm starting to find more and more gray every time I get a hair cut. In a matter of a few years the brown hairs will likely lose the battle with the gray ones, but it's all good.

Playstead said...

Embrace it. We're lucky that guys like George Clooney and Anderson Cooper have somehow found a way to make gray cool. And I agree, right now my kids seem to be aging me quickly!!

Irrational Dad said...

I would RATHER go gray than to have what's happening on my head.... see... thing appear to be thinning out up top. I figure I'll be getting intimate with a razor in the next 5 or so years.

Whit said...

I've had gray in the beard for years, but it's only recently started to make its way onto the head. It could be worse.

Eric said...

Dude, I'm starting to see the gray sneaking into my scalp! Ugh.. other places... not so much. (Thank God!)

However, if things continue as they are... I may be a Q-tip! LOL!

Stay cool gramps ;) jk

A Free Man said...

Whoever said that kids keep you young was full of crap. I've never been more tired than I have been since having kids, never ached like I have since having kids. I don't have the grey hair problem, largely because most of mine is gone now and what's not gets cropped to the point that colour is undiscernable. I've had more than my share of hair in unusual places, though.

Andrew said...

You should've left that long gray hair in and see how crazy long you could grow it!