Thursday, November 18, 2010

Never Challenge a 3yo to a Gross-Out Contest

I would Love to eat this guy.  Mmmmm.

 Howdy readers.  Do you remember the fist time that you played a gross out game with kids?  Wasn't it a lot of fun?

Last night after dinner, Lukas wanted some cereal to top things off before bed.  Problem was, Mrs. LIAYF had put milk on his cereal.  Sure, he usually eats his cereal with milk, but apparently this time he wanted it dry.  So, when she held up a spoonful of Chex swimming in milk, he made a classic pucker face.

"You look like you just ate a Slug!" Mrs. LIAYF chided him.  "I once had a kitty who ate a Slug and his face looked just like that" I quickly added "Mmmm, I love Slug." These revelations brought on a snort of laughter, and grudging acceptance of the now soggy wheat squares.

It also touched off a case of one upsmanship on gross things we would Loooovvvveee to eat. Among the flavorful dishes we called off were some fairly disgusting fare such as:

Booger Chip Ice Cream
Nose Hair Salad
Ear Wax and Jelly Sandwiches
Squished Spider Yogurt
Snot Ball Corn Muffins

By this time we were having a pretty fun time thinking up new gross dishes that we thought were so yummy.  It probably would have been a good idea for me to survey the situation more closely before calling out my gross dishes though.  That's because just as Mrs. LIAYF was shoveling a spoonful of cereal into Lukas' mouth, I called out "Dirty Diaper Cake!" causing him to spit said milk and cereal all over his mother as laughter burst forth from his little mouth.

Sorry Sweets, I couldn't help myself.

As would be expected of a 3-year-old, most of Lukas' entries in the game were variations on something gross that his mother or I had just said, such as repeating Spider Yogurt before busting out laughing at himself.

But, just as I was about to declare myself the undisputed winner and gross out champion for the evening, Lukas tossed out his ace in the hole.  I was totally caught off guard.  He must have been sand-bagging the whole time.

"Swiss Cheese Clown!"

Ewwwww!  Holey Clown Cheese!  There was no way we were going to top that. 

Game over.


goodfather said...

You had me at Nose Hair Salad :-D

BloggerFather said...

The problems with Swiss Cheese or any other clowns, is that if you don't eat them, they WILL eat you.

Eileen said...

Anything with clowns wins in the creepy or gross category. This rocks. Nice job, Dad! Your family sounds like loads of fun.

Ordinary Dad said...

Wow kids come up with the weirdest stuff. If I was judging this competition I would award more points for dirty diaper cake though...I can almost picture what it would look like...OK time to go read another one of your posts to get that image out of my head!

Didactic Pirate said...

Anybody want to finish my yogurt?

Captain Dumbass said...

There's no coming back from clown cheese.

SciFi Dad said...

Clearly, he is a comedic genius. You need to start exposing him to the greats (Cosby, Kinison) so he can learn to master his craft.

Anonymous said...

Is that aged clown cheese?

ericdbolton said...

I don't understand why people think Swiss cheese is gross..

I would have puked if it was Pimento Cheese Clown

Keith Wilcox said...

yeah, that's sorta a losing battle. :-) Although, their ability to really gross you out just increases with the years, too -- so it get's worse! It won't be long before he totally gets into the game and you'll just be left speechless in disgust. HAHA

Homemaker Man said...

Ugh, clown cheese.

Lady Mama said...

Mmmm.. ear wax and jelly sandwiches. I think that game would go down very well over here.